Post # 1
Hi Hive – this is my first post, I hope you can all help. The other day I was talking to one of my bridesmaids and she told me that all the other BMs are pretty upset/angry with my Maid/Matron of Honor. Apparently in the process of planning my bridal shower and bachelorette the Maid/Matron of Honor has been rude, condescending and is shooting down everyone’s ideas (but not contributing any herself). The other girls didn’t want to tell me cause they didn’t want to stress me out, but the one who did said she wanted to let me know cause she’s afraid everyone will eventually come to blows.
I know the Maid/Matron of Honor is going through a stressful time with her work and family but it’s no reason to take it out on the other girls. I also feel partially responsible cause it is my wedding party and not everyone knows each other that well. Honestly, I am happy that they are even planning a shower and bachelorette for me and I’m really good with anything they’ve got planned.
So I’m wondering before things get too far if I should step in and speak with the Maid/Matron of Honor. If so, what should I say? I’m not really great at confrontations and I don’t want to rat out my bridesmaid. Any advice you can give will help!
Post # 3
I would speak to her, but less accusatory and more concern for her. One girl came to you and said these things, have you confirmed the information or just assuming it’s true? This girl could be exaggerating because her ideas have been turned down. Either way talk with your moh and find out how everything is, if she’s ok with all that’s on her plate and if she needs any help with anything. You may be surprised at what you learn.
Post # 4
If she is your Maid/Matron of Honor then you are obviously close to this girl, so I think you should just talk to her. Start off not even mentioning the wedding or anything to do with, come to her as a friend and not a bride. Ask her how her life is and if she is okay. If she asks why you are bringing this up then say, a bm came to you about her not being the easiest person to work with and it didn’t sound like her so you wanted to check and make sure everything is ok in her life. Ask her if you can help make this time any easier on her and if their is anything she needs from you. Be it taking her out for a girls night, helping her with some family things, just listening to her vent about life, or if she is overwhelmed offer to put another Bridesmaid or Best Man in charage of these parties. Tell her that you still love her and just want to make sure that you and your wedding aren’t adding too much extra stress to her life and if she needs to take a step back, that is OK.
Post # 5
@FarmingGal: I guess I still feel like they should not have told you at all. They should sort it out amongst themselves.