(Closed) MOH bailed AGAIN

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1963 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Aww I’m sorry you’re dealing with this 🙁

Post # 4
Member
1668 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Perhaps talk to her and ask if she still wants to be your Maid/Matron of Honor. It could be that she’s got a lot going on (or thinks she does). Ask if she just wants to be a bridesmaid and just show up for the rehearsal and wedding.

Post # 5
Member
2589 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I just went through this with a bridesmaid (not having a MOH), who ignored emails from my mom and other girls for several weeks.   It turned out she was dealing with “stuff” and the bridesmaid thing was just not fun for her.  And if its not fun for her, its not fun for me (or you, in your case).   It took me a while to get the guts to bring it up, but I felt SO much better after I did.  Just ask her, in a nice, non-confrontational way.  Regardless of the results, its better than the worry/wondering/feeling hurt.

Post # 7
Hostess
23607 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

🙁 Hope it gets better…

Post # 8
Member
3773 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

@KarenA:  I definately think you should stop asking for her help. That is not her job as Maid/Matron of Honor. As you told her all she nedes to do is buy the dress and show up. Give her the information with the dates, times and places she has to be for rehersal and the wedding. If she doesn’t show up you will still have a wonderful wedding.

Post # 9
Member
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@ieatunicorns:  I have to agree…..my Maid/Matron of Honor is in AZ – she will be helping with and planning – absolutely nothing.  Neither will any of my bridesmaids.  I asked them to stand up with me because I love them and want them by my side.  End of story.  When you read so many of these posts, you start to wonder if you are in the minority thinking that…..seeing this helped:

They’re bridesmaids, NOT slaves! (Verrrrry long)

Post # 10
Member
1668 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

OP has said that she didn’t ask her Maid/Matron of Honor for help, Maid/Matron of Honor offered to help. I have a pet peeve about people offering to do something, then flaking out. Good luck OP, hope it gets better!

Post # 11
Member
2589 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Come on girls, making plans and then bailing on them is NOT in the same ballpark as being unrealistically demanding of your bridesmaids.

I think people automatically see a “trouble with bridesmaid” post and JUMP all over the OP for being too demanding without even reading the post…

Getting bailed on repeatedly by a friend SUCKS – wedding related or not – this does not mean the OP needs to read the “bridesmaids are not slaves” post.

Post # 12
Member
2233 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Fall_In_Love22:  Exactly. I would agree with PPs but in this case Maid/Matron of Honor offered and then bailed.

I had something similar happen with my Maid/Matron of Honor recently. She would contact me, start up conversation about the wedding and offer help. When I would try to get her to pin down a date for anything (dress shopping, shower) she would come up with all these obstacles. In the end she ended up asking to step down because of all the stuff going on in her life that was overwhelming her and I really didn’t want to add to her stress.

Post # 13
Member
2233 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@mandypop:  Thank you! This drives me bonkers on here.

Post # 14
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@mandypop:  Totally agree with you!  And can I just add, if brides really, honestly feel that BMs don’t have to do anything WHY BOTHER HAVING ANY?  I’ve seriously been contemplating that myself since I’ve done EVERYTHING on my own (as I should) and my BMs have done nothing.  I get that my BMs are women that I love and want “standing beside me” on my wedding day but I can still “love them” as guests.  If no one but the bride and groom are required to “do” anything, why even bother having a bridal party?  Like seriously, WHAT IS THEIR PURPOSE?

Sorry, but these Bridesmaid or Best Man threads always get me riled up because, inevitably, this will become a pile-up on the OP where she is called bridezilla and directed to read threads on bridesmaids not being slaves.  WE GET IT!  BMs get to share all the spotlight on OUR days and do none of the work for it.  Fine.  But what about just being good friends?  Does becoming a Bridesmaid or Best Man automatically mean you can start being a bad friend (ie – not returning calls, cancelling dates, ignoring the bride, etc.)?

Ok stepping off the soap box now.  LOL!

Post # 15
Member
2589 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@VegasSukie:    Seriously. I love how being a bridesmaid, according to some posters here, is a free pass to be a shittier friend than you’d be expected to put up with normally.

 

Post # 16
Member
3773 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

@mandypop:  I don’t see where anyone says it is ok to be shitty friend. I think it is a little dramatic to say that because the Bridesmaid or Best Man had a migraine and couldn’t come help with invitations that makes her a terrible friend. If the post were “my friend keeps blowing me off” my response would be completely different.

The topic ‘MOH bailed AGAIN’ is closed to new replies.

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