(Closed) MOH, Best friend. Maybe not friends anymore…

posted 10 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
84 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Ah, yes.  I sympathize with you unfortunately.  Two of my bridesmaids really made my wedding planning experience poor, ending with them dropping out completely.  It started almost immediately with both of them complaining about the dress selections being discussed.  It continued with complaints about the location of the bachelorette party, the cost of contributing to the shower (another Bridesmaid or Best Man is planning and asked them to help out with the cost), and even the shoes I purchased for them (who complains about FREE shoes?!).  It was a constant stressor for me because I felt like they didn’t even care about me or my wedding at all–I was just an inconvenience to them.

I’m so sorry you are experiencing something similar.  My advice to you is rather blunt: your Maid/Matron of Honor is probably a fair weather friend.  I don’t know much about her, but from the way she’s treating you, I would guess that she is a friend that has been there for you in small ways, but has never supported you in any deep, meaningful way.  The type of friend that would let you borrow her clothes, but would never give you the clothes off her back.  She’s shown hints of jealousy through the years when things are going well for you.  She thinks things should be about her!  Her true colors are showing now…she doesn’t want to put too much effort into your wedding because she’s jealous and selfish and all the work just isn’t worth her time.  She’ll enjoy the free drinks at your reception, but she has no interest in working or sharing in your new happiness.  🙁  This is what I found with my tow bridesmaids…they were fine friends until they had to actually do something for me and pretend like they were happy for me.

I do hope I’m wrong and she’s just having a bad day.  Either way, I wish you all the happiness in the world!

Post # 5
547 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’m sorry you are going thru a hard time.  Have you looked at it thru her eyes out of curosity??  IS she single?  If so, maybe she is a tad jealous and overwhelmed and doesn’t know how to tell you.  Just a thought.

BUT I know what you are going thru.  I just had a bridesmaid that I’m very close to drop out of my wedding via an email (AND took her son w/her whom was to be my ring bearer) b/c she doesn’t agree with my marriage and doesn’t have peace in her heart about it.  I’m the one that should have the peace in my heart not her since it’s my man I’m getting married to not her (She’s already married), I was/is very painfu, hurtful and had feelings of being rejected.  I’m trying to do the right thing and forgive her and move on, but I’m not sure what’s going to happen to our friendship.   Moral of the story, IF she’s really a good friend, she’ll still be there if not move on as it will only show she’s really not a true friend to you! 

I wish you lots of luck!

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