(Closed) MOH concerns….

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
1126 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I would ask her how things are going, and see if there’s something else bothering her.  You don’t want to accuse her of being jealous, because that’s not going to get a good reaction even if it is true.  But maybe she’s struggling in her life right now, and feels like she can’t talk to you about it because she doesn’t want to bring you down.  Or maybe she feels like you’re so focused on your wedding that you’re not really interested in her.  I’m not saying that any of this is definitely the case, but you can broach the subject by asking if everything’s alright, because you feel like you’re growing apart, and see if she opens up at all.  Good luck.

Post # 4
3981 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I would talk to her and just tell her that you have noticed she doesn’t seem very happy about the wedding lately and you want to make sure you didn’t do anything wrong. If you approach her with genuine concern for her wellbeing you are much more likely to get an honest responce.

Post # 6
28 posts
  • Wedding: September 2010

I had a very similar experience with my Maid/Matron of Honor.  She started distancing herself and then got very mad over me over what should have been a minor incident.  When I tried talking to her to figure out what was going on with her, she listed things about me that were bothering her.  I knew the real issues related to how she was feeling about her own life and weren’t really about me.  It was very difficult for me to deal with as I had hoped to share my wedding experience with my her.  My best piece of advice is to try to talk to her.  If she can’t acknowledge what the real issues are (and honestly, they are most likely related to insecurities about her own life, etc.), then you need to find other friends who are willing to play surrogate Maid/Matron of Honor.  You will be surprised at how your other friends will step up for you and help you out.  One thing I’ve learned is that weddings bring out all kinds of emotions in people and will really show someone’s true colors!

Post # 7
151 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I also had a similar experience with a friend who is a Bridesmaid or Best Man in my wedding. My friend, like your friend, is also single and most of her friends are married, having babies, engaged, or in serious relationships. She too, is bitter and has issues about why she is still single. I honestly don’t think there’s anything you can do except ignore her when she makes a snarky comment (I know it’s easier said than done). You’ve already tried talking to her, and she won’t come clean about why she’s upset. And the true reason she’s acting the way she is towards you is because of her own insecurities about not having a significant other in her life. With my friend, even though she’s in my wedding, I don’t talk about my wedding with her unless she is the one to bring it up first. I know it sucks when a friend who is close enough to you to be a Maid/Matron of Honor or bridesmaid truly isn’t excited for you, but what I’ve realized is that you just have to continue to be happy with your own life and let her wallow in her misery. If you don’t acknowledge or pay attention to her behavior, she’ll either realize how ridiculous she is being, and come around, or she’ll continue to distance herself from you, which may be better for you in the long run. I think you have every right to be happy with your life and the fact that you are getting married, regardless of how your friend feels about her own life.

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