(Closed) MOH dilemma..

posted 10 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
2570 posts
Sugar bee

Since you chose her as Maid/Matron of Honor and she hasnt done anything to insult you or behaved badly I think it would not be right for you to demote her. You probably realize you should never have chosen her to be Maid/Matron of Honor, but that is a decision that is passed.

I am sure it would have been nice for her to bring up not being the Maid/Matron of Honor, but in reality its not her duty to step down since you chose her.

I am sorry you arent as close to her anymore, but you will enjoy the whole day anway.

Post # 5
117 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Could you have TWO MOH?  That way, you can have the girl you REALLY want next to you, without causing the other pain?  

Post # 6
3292 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

IMO, choosing your Maid/Matron of Honor isn’t only about honoring someone who’s helped you with the wedding stuff — it’s about honoring your closest, deepest friendship. 

The person standing next to you should be someone you think you’ll be close to for your entire life. It sounds like the Maid/Matron of Honor you chose is in a busy time of her life right now, but that doesn’t mean she’s not your friend. My Maid/Matron of Honor also had children and didn’t talk to me as much as my other friends, but she is the one woman I know will always, always, always be in my life. 

Anyway, all this isn’t to say you shouldn’t change your Maid/Matron of Honor if you want to — just think it over. 

Post # 8
237 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Just out of curiousity why did you ask her to be your Maid/Matron of Honor after you stepped down as hers? I think I missed something there.

Regardless though, I think as PP’s have said it would be bad form to ask her to step down now. You will still have a great day, and even though she is technically Maid/Matron of Honor you will still have all of the other girls who have supported you throughout the process with you.

I didn’t designate a Maid/Matron of Honor for this reason. My 2 oldest friends live out of state and have kids. They are BM’s and could only be here for the wedding. My other 2 BM’s are my SIL and my closest girlfriend here who I’ve known for about 10 years. I couldn’t choose, so I didn’t. Ultimately it made no difference. They all supported me in their own ways the best they could and it’s been (mostly) fine. 🙂

Post # 10
19 posts
  • Wedding: May 2010

You asked her to be your Maid/Matron of Honor because you wanted her as your Maid/Matron of Honor……and why don’t you take it in other way that after all her business she is still managing her time for your wedding………
She made her cousin her Maid/Matron of Honor just because you wanted that…..
I cant see any reason to demote her……after all she is managing her time for you……

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