- 10 years ago
- Wedding: October 2011
Ok, bees. Need your advice. Let me give you some background info:
The wedding is 3 weeks away. I have felt this way through out our whole engagement (since last September). My friend, who I picked to be my Maid/Matron of Honor, lives 5 hours away so we never see each other. Haven’t seen her since last November, actually. In college, we were roommates for 3 years and also lived in the same floor our freshman year (which is where we became friends). She got married our senior year. She asked me to be her Maid/Matron of Honor, which I accepted, but after growing apart, I mentioned to her that I would be fine if she wanted to have someone else as her Maid/Matron of Honor since we were not as close. She made her cousin her Maid/Matron of Honor instead, and I was still a bridesmaid.
Speed up to last few years… we would see each other maybe once a year, where we would tailgate/go to a football game in the fall. Occasionally, she would stop and we would get lunch/dinner when she was visiting her mom (who lives about an hour away from me). But the most we would see each other is twice a year. We would e-mail occasionally, maybe like once a month..the same with texting, but we never talk on the phone (I am usually not a phone talker anyway).
She has been in school the past couple years and just had a baby last month. I know she has been busy with school and is now a mom, but like I said, we RARELY talk, and she never really asks about wedding stuff unless I bring it up first, which I rarely do, due to her being so busy. She missed my bridal shower (which is fine), and now my bachelorette party is this weekend and she will only be there for a couple hours before she is leaving to head to her mom’s (where the baby will be). She is nursing so can’t be away from the baby for very long, so I mentioned that she should bring the baby to the hotel for games and then drinks (free drinks for a couple hours, then going to dinner) and then she and the baby can go to dinner, and she can head home from there. She said she wouldn’t mind bringing the baby, but her mom is looking forward to quality time with the baby, so she is only going to come to the hotel for a few hours and leave.
I understand, her mom wants to spend time with her granddaughter, but it also stinks for me…. I haven’t seen her since last November, rarely talk to her, and now I don’t even know if she’ll be able to get our hair done with us on the day of the wedding. Everyone else will be getting their nails done the Friday before, all going to get our hair done together, etc.
I have 3 other bridesmaids and 2 of them I have been really close to, ever since HS. One moved away in HS but still talked to her and she still came to visit in college etc. One I have been friends with since middle school and we still hang out quite often and email each other every day. So it should be an easy decision, make her my Maid/Matron of Honor… but with only 3 weeks left, I just don’t know if I can do it.
I was hoping my current Maid/Matron of Honor would bring it up, like I did, when I knew we weren’t as close (which is the same thing going on now) but she hasn’t. I just feel like someone who has helped me, talked to me more about the wedding stuff, should be standing next to me on our big day.
What would you do?
So sorry this went on this long… had to give you all the necessary info.