(Closed) MOH dilemma – no best friend…

posted 10 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
18628 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I think you should pick the one that will be the most supportive.  Do you think that this new girl will want to be involved in the wedding planning if you aren’t as close as you are with the other girls?

Post # 4
941 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I agree that the bridal party should be filled with supportive people, no matter what the title of the relationship.  And in regards to picking a Maid/Matron of Honor, I don’t think there’s one definition of what that has to mean, but I think it tends to mean the person to take charge of the main situations.  So, it makes sense to pick someone you feel you can rely on as a take charge role, and be there to supprot you in all the big things.  So, definitely use that in your decision making process.  🙂

Post # 5
435 posts
Helper bee

Is there anyone in his family that you are close too?  I see your wedding is a little way off so is there a chance you may get closer to one of his female relatives?

Post # 6
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Your Maid/Matron of Honor should be whomever you are closest to who is most supportive of you. It doesn’t have to be a friend if you aren’t that close to any of them. It can be a family member if you prefer. You can also choose a guy friend/relative for the role if you are closer to them than any females in your social circle. How far away someone lives is irrelevant as they will travel to your wedding so this is not an issue. If your fiance wants a best man, it should not be dependant on who you choose for your side. Each of you will need someone to sign the certificate as your witnesses, which is the duty of the Maid/Matron of Honor and best man.

However, don’t pick someone else’s friends or relatives to fill this spot as it should be whomever is closest to you. Your fiance has his own group of attendants who can include any females on his side, and they should be closest to him, not because they’re related to you. Don’t recruit them to be your bridesmaids unless you are already best buddies with them to begin with long before the wedding rolls around.  

Post # 7
1102 posts
Bumble bee

Your other option of course is to not label anyone as Maid/Matron of Honor. I didn’t, I couldn’t choose between my 4 (2 sisters, 1 cousin, 1 male BFF). Darling Husband still had a best man. I asked one of my sisters to be the witness and the other held my bouquet/stood closest to me during the ceremony. As far as I can see it’s really not necessary to name a Maid/Matron of Honor if you’re finding it a difficult decision.

Post # 8
1565 posts
Bumble bee

Mine’s not my “best friend”…I have several best friends from different areas of my life. I also didn’t ask the bridesmaid who lives closest to me, though I think that’s a good way to think about who might be supportive. Out of my BMs, my Maid/Matron of Honor is the one who Fiance and I are both closest to, and she helped the relationship start, so that’s why I asked her. 

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