(Closed) MOH dilemma, please help with advice!

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
74 posts
Worker bee

There is no reason you can’t have both of them be Maid/Matron of Honor. One of my friends didn’t want to decide between the three of us in her wedding (her sister, SIL and me) and we were all Maid/Matron of Honor. I do have to say for my sister’s upcoming wedding, while we are not close and I always knew I wouldn’t be her Maid/Matron of Honor, the fact that I’m not does bother me (I’m assuming she asked another friend/our cousin to be it), her thing about is that she was our cousin’s Maid/Matron of Honor but our cousin didn’t have any sister’s and my sister was closest to it (and my sister did get our cousin and her husband together). Now what I wish she would have done was ask me to be maid of honor and our cousin to be matron of honor, I’ve seen that in lots of weddings…but well, as I said we aren’t close and it is what it is…but has made me even not really want to be in her wedding because of a lot of other stuff and a very long story…

Post # 4
2116 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

My fiance has best friends who are twins so he is having 2 best men, can you do that?

Post # 6
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I asked my second Maid/Matron of Honor months later (long engagement), but my situation is a bit different because my sister was my Maid of Honor and my good friend is married. I wanted to make sure my sister was fine in sharing the honor first before I asked my Matron of Honor.

With your friend, could you maybe take her to lunch, explain that you wanted her there by your side and you love all her support and friendship and that you knew she’d be busy with the kids/fam/life. If she’d be willing to be Matron of Honor you’d love that, but you didn’t want to cause her any additional stress but wanted her up there with you as a bridesmaid for sure. Do you think that approach may help smooth it over?

Post # 7
44 posts
  • Wedding: June 2008

I actually had this very same problem! My Boyfriend or Best Friend of 15 years and I have kinda drifted due to our relationships/jobs/kids etc. but have been thru sooo so much together and love each other dearly! I started becoming extremely close to my FI’s sister over the past 3 years and have been talking and hanging out w/her much more. I consider her my Boyfriend or Best Friend also. I asked the sister to be my Maid/Matron of Honor and my Boyfriend or Best Friend to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man. Ouch! She said she’d love to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man but I could tell she was very hurt! After much thought I decided, hey, its my wedding and I can have 2 Maid/Matron of Honor if I want!! So I called her and asked. She said yes but I could tell she was still a little hurt. So I explained my thought process to her and to my knowledge all is fine. Im sure she still feels a bit of a sting but I honestly feel much better about my decision now! I say go for having 2 MOH! Im sure they’ll both be honored and happy to be part of your special day! : )

Post # 9
74 posts
Worker bee

Did you ask them all together? If not, couldn’t you just even pass it off saying I did ask you all to be Bridesmaid or Best Man but then I asked special on the other duties…of course that means you should pick special things for each of them to do. For my friend, her first wedding her sis was Maid/Matron of Honor (partly so she didn’t have to pick between friends) and signed her marriage license…in her second, didn’t want a repeat of that so she had me sign the license and her sister and SIL each he other things they did that set their Maid/Matron of Honor duties apart. 

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