Post # 1
So my Maid/Matron of Honor and I used to be really close so she of course was an easy pick for the Maid/Matron of Honor position, since then she has just kinda really dropped the ball on all of her Maid/Matron of Honor duties. She didn’t come to help me pick a dress, she hasn’t helped me with any of the tasks, then last weekend she gets upset because she feels like everyone is taking over her jobs… un duh, because you haven’t done crap yet…My shower and bachelorette party were this past weekend, she waited until two weeks before my shower and bachelorette party to send out invites which lead to practically nobody being able to attend due to the exteremely short notice. So I told her to just cancel my shower so I didnt feel awkward. I don’t know how to deal with her, my wedding is 9/15 and im at the point I don’t even want her around because she makes everything about her, doesn’t do anything then complians that she doesn’t feel involved and everyone is stepping on her toes. She has even said, “I better be the only one helping you on your wedding day or I am going to go off on someone”…Um, you better not go off on anyone on MY wedding day. What do I do?
Post # 3
Nothing. You have less than 4 weeks until your wedding, you have enough to do.
The only thing I could possibly see you being upset about is her being upset that others were ‘taking over her jobs’ – because really, her job is to show up and wear the dress the day of your wedding, hold your flowers, and maybe sign a marriage certificate. That’s it. She doesn’t need to go dress shopping with you, or help you with ‘tasks’. If she offers, that’s wonderful, but you should not expect her to do so.
If you are concerned about her getting angry at other bridesmaids, I’d gently remind her that they’re all a team, and that its ok for others to help you.
Post # 4
I would talk to her. Ask her what she thinks Maid/Matron of Honor duties are. After she tells you and if she tells you things she hasn’t done, talk to her nicely about how she wasn’t there for you, which doesn’t bother you, but she can’t be mad at the other girls for stepping up. Ask her that even if she gets mad at the other girls at your wedding to bit her tongue to help you have the best day possible.
Yes, we all want our Maid/Matron of Honor to go dress shopping, go to our dress fittings with us, plan the shower and bachelorette party. But not all of them do. These things aren’t required. But I get what you are saying, because if my Maid/Matron of Honor didn’t go dress shopping or go to my fittings I would rethink why I picked them as my Maid/Matron of Honor because they are the closest to me, unless there is a really good reason.
Post # 5
Ideally none of this would happen, but it sounds like life got the better of your Maid/Matron of Honor and the two of you are coping rather poorly…which is odd, since you and her used to be so close, I understand why your upset, you wanted to share all of the fun stuff with her and that didn’t happen, you say she’s your friend, so act like one…talk to her about it and see if you can’t clear things up before you do get to your wedding day and you’ve got a REAL mess on your hands…prevention is better than a cure?
Post # 6
Thanks girls. Its just frustrating with her I feel like I am walking n eggshells with her afraid she will drop out at the last minute or something. I think after the wedding I am defiitely reconsidering our friendship after she has been so selfish through all of this.