- 7 years ago
- Wedding: September 2011
So i needed to vent and write this out there to get so I can hopefully figure this situation out. I have a Maid/Matron of Honor who has been my best friend since college. Since I’ve met my fiance 4 years ago I noticed things got a little different. We weren’t attached to the hip like we use to in be and our hangouts went from 4 days a week to 1-2 times a week. We both had started our careers after college and now I was in a serious relationship. I made sure that I always made time for my friends no matter what. Things were going great with my bestfriend and i until I got engaged. My fiance had proposed at my favorite resturaunt and had arranged my family to come in and surprise me after the proposal. I was the happiest person after he proposed and saw my family. But I couldn’t help but notice that my best friend was missing in all this excitement!. My fiance had told me (long story short) that he had invited her to come and she had texted him the night before that she’ll definetly be there. She never came because she chose a guy over me to go visit in bermuda. That hurt my feelings but I let it go.
As the wedding planning came to full effect. I’ve been scheduling all my weekends metting with florists, picking dj’s, putting together invitations, etc..You all know how time consuming wedding planning can be ;)., but i still made time for my friends during the week days and saw my best friend once a week. My Maid/Matron of Honor (best friend) had not been invovled and everytime she asks how the wedding planning is going, I talk to her about it and can tell she really doesn’t want to hear about it. (by the fact she says uh huh, yeah, okay and doesn’t engage in the conversation). So I have stopped telling her about the wedding or mentioning it completely for her sake and to avoid drama. This is where the heat comes in…
I get a phone call from her the other day and she’s asks me what I’m doing. I told her i’m hanging out with my fiance since I haven’t seen him in a few days. She says, “figures” and starts attacking me for a full half hour about how I’m never around (mind you we see each other weekly) and that I not thinking of her and how it’s all about me. In between all this she bashed my job and how crabby I am all the time and how my fiance never likes to hang out with the group (not true) and that she doesn’t know my fiance at all and us as a couple (bull!). I calmed her down and ended the conversation but never put my two cents in on how crappy I feel and guilty for something I didn’t do.
I texted her today saying how upset I was that she attacked me for something I didn’t do. I understood how she felt and feel like she should have gone about in a different way. She texts back “I am a straight forward person and let you know how I feel. I just wanted to tell you things so it wouldn’t be a suprise, You are who you are”…excuse me!!! So i texted her” I am who i am and feel like i did nothing wrong or anything intentianal to make you feel how you feel. You made me feel like I’m this horribe person and I’m not okay with that”…..she wrote back” Seriously! I think your oblivious to the way I treat people. There is a time and a place to be all about you but not all the time. U need to pay attention to other peoples lives. Your should not always be the center”…..
i’m fuming right now and don’t want to talk to her. I’m almost considering to have her step down from Maid/Matron of Honor duties. She has not been there for me through this whole experience, I’ve had my other bridesmaids that are more supportive and more involved. Thought I’d vent. Thanks for listening 🙂