Post # 1
Ok so my MOH is my best friend. It was an easy and obvious choice for me to pick her. We have been best friends for 8 yrs. and she basically like a sister to me. Or so I thought.
Lately I feel super disconnected with her. We never txt each other anymore or hang out. Actually she’s been going out with other people. Which, kind of hurt my feelings. When I first got engaged she was super excited and was into planning but for that the last couple of months it’s just been nothing.
I don’t know if she’s jealous of how fast me and my FI have moved in our relationship (she’s been with the same guy for 6 yrs. and they can’t go a yr. without breaking up. She’s always complaining about him to me and how she wants more commitment blah blah but she never leaves. BUT THAT’S A WHOLE OTHER STORY)
Maybe I’m jealous because she’s making new friends (childish I know. But I’m very territorial can’t help it I’m a Sagittarius. )
We both are in different parts of life. Yeah we are the same age but I’m engaged, with a child planning wedding, looking into buying a house. And she still goes out every night and parties and does what she wants. And before I met my FH I could do that to. But things change I’m a mom now and about to be someone’s wife. Call me old fashion and maybe it’s me that changed but being at the club 4 times a week just doesn’t suit me anymore. I’d rather be cuddled with my boys. (I still like going out time to time just not every day)
And of course being her passive self. When I ask her if anything is wrong she says no. & I know she’s lying. Even our other friends have noticed our distance. It’s really stressing me out. I want a MOH that there for me during this time and supports me and actually respects the title of a MOH. I don’t feel like she’s living up to it.
This might be my first bridezilla moment…. But more than anything my feelings are just hurt. I don’t want to lose my bestie. I’ve been thinking about having her over for dinner and talking face to face instead of just txt.
Well I’m just ranting. Feel free to leave comments on the situation if you’re feeling the same way with your MOH or just so advice on the whole things.
Post # 3
i definitely grew apart form certain friends who still party 5 nights a week. i’m married and have a 9-5 weekday job so i outgrew the partying. i don’t even feel like going out on weekend nights anymore! i think you guys have just grown apart. you’re in different stages in life. i’m still friends with the partiers but i don’t see them as often as i used to. you and your BFF should both talk face to face about the situation. you can still be friends but it might mean you don’t hang out as often as you used to.
Post # 4
She may have made new friends who compliment her lifestyle, but that doesn’t mean she does’t love you and the friendship that you share. Just because she goes out, it doesn’t mean it bothers her that you don’t. She probably understands that you’re doing your thing with your family.
Post # 5
I think you’re acting like you’re better than her bc she still likes to go out. Nothing wrong with that.
Post # 6
@rdd584 Yeah I definitely don’t think I’m better than she is. If anything I’m kind of happy she’s starting to break out of her shell. I use to the party animal and she never went out. I just feel like we are growing apart and I know that happens in life but I don’t like it.
Post # 7
- Wedding: February 2014 - Kentucky Center for the Performing Arts
Sounds like my situation with my best friend.. Me and my BF seem to have drifted a bit too, ever since I told her me and SO were planning our wedding. I have been with my guy almost four years…it will be 4 yrs when we get married. She has been with her guy for 11-12 years. She has issues within her relationship, issues that I would have told his butt to leave long ago. Anyways I don’t judge her, whatever she chooses is her life. I have issues of my own to deal with. But seriously, every since I started planning I have noticed her making little comments here and there. And I know for a fact that she has a slight amount of jealously toward me b/c a few years back she said some not so friendly things in an argument that it just clicked that she had been secretively jealous. Still I love her like a sister, I just try my best to only be humble and thankful to God for my life and not boast on anything around her. I can’t even say I’ve purchased something without her saying something negative…so I’ve learned to keep quiet about a lot.
I have a 2nd best friend also (she’s so supportive in whatever I choose to do). Well the 1st BF made sure it was known that she was the MOH during their dress trial. I mean who does that…when its already unspoken (and has been discussed with the 2nd BF in private) that she was the MOH. Crap like that just makes me want to have no bridal party. I am sure that when I finally get married that we will drift even further. She made a comment the other day how her 2nd best friend didn’t want to hang out with her one weekend b/c she’s expecting a baby and wanted to spend time with her husband instead before the baby came. “Every since she got pregnant its like she doesnt want to hang out.” Geez…she was being a cry baby. So I can only imagine what’s gonna happen after my wedding. But I just have come to the realization that people do grow apart, especially when you start to focus on family and they are focused on other things.
Post # 8
I’d talk with her face to face. Friends do drift apart, but I think the good friendships, the ones that are meant to last, evolve with time and circumstances. Maybe that means you don’t see each other as often or you don’t have as much in common anymore as your lives go in different directions, but that doesn’t mean the two of you still can’t be close and maintain a friendship.
Post # 9
“But I just have come to the realization that people do grow apart, especially when you start to focus on family and they are focused on other things. “
AHHH couldn’t say this better myself!!! That’s exactly what I needed to hear when I first wrote this. People do grow apart and while it SUCKSSS. It’s ok. It happens in life. Since I wrote this my MOH graduated and we have been talking more. I didn’t want to have the talk with her then because I did want to ruin her “Graduation Weekend” Which was a blast!!!! I still want to have “the talk” just in case these feelings ever come back.
Post # 10
- Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY
I’ve found I’ve been super sensitive during the wedding planning process and really over-analyzing how people treat me. Any sort of “emotional” neglect has been heightened. Myabe that’s what’s happening to you?
She might be jealous and you might be teritorial but try to let it go. Weddings bring out so many bad qualities in us!!
Why don’t you just take her to lunch or coffee or do a little special something to make her feel appreciated? Good luck!
Post # 11
I completely agree with EVERYTHING that you said. I really think it’s just me and my heighten and sensitive feelings. We are having drinks tonight although I won’t be saying anything to her about how I was feeling because we’ve been doing pretty well the last week or so and I don’t want to mess it up. (Talking and texting again)
Post # 12
I’m happy that you and your MOH are back on track. Life is tricky sometimes. People grow, people don’t grow and it’s hard to stay connected when your focus changes. I’ve found that Sometimes when people see others get to places in their lives that they desire to be, it makes them feels some type of way whether it be jealous or dissappointed in their position in life and they unconciously distance themselves. I’m guilty too. A lot of times if you just wait it out things will come back together and you’ll get back on the same wave length. I love my best friends and I got a little teary eyed thinking about how I’d feel if I were in your situation. You seem to be in a good place in your life and you have so much to celebrate, so I would just make sure that you take some moments to celebrate/compliment your friend so she won’t feel some type of way when you’re gushing about about your wedding etc.