(Closed) MOH drama. feeling frustrated and confused

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
2516 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

i definitely grew apart form certain friends who still party 5 nights a week. i’m married and have a 9-5 weekday job so i outgrew the partying. i don’t even feel like going out on weekend nights anymore! i think you guys have just grown apart. you’re in different stages in life. i’m still friends with the partiers but i don’t see them as often as i used to. you and your BFF should both talk face to face about the situation. you can still be friends but it might mean you don’t hang out as often as you used to. 

Post # 4
Member
1592 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

She may have made new friends who compliment her lifestyle, but that doesn’t mean she does’t love you and the friendship that you share. Just because she goes out, it doesn’t mean it bothers her that you don’t. She probably understands that you’re doing your thing with your family.

Post # 5
Member
1592 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I think you’re acting like you’re better than her bc she still likes to go out. Nothing wrong with that.

Post # 7
Member
1066 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014 - Kentucky Center for the Performing Arts

Sounds like my situation with my best friend.. Me and my BF seem to have drifted a bit too, ever since I told her me and SO were planning our wedding. I have been with my guy almost four years…it will be 4 yrs when we get married. She has been with her guy for 11-12 years. She has issues within her relationship, issues that I would have told his butt to leave long ago. Anyways I don’t judge her, whatever she chooses is her life. I have issues of my own to deal with. But seriously, every since I started planning I have noticed her making little comments here and there. And I know for a fact that she has a slight amount of jealously toward me b/c a few years back she said some not so friendly things in an argument that it just clicked that she had been secretively jealous. Still I love her like a sister, I just try my best to only be humble and thankful to God for my life and not boast on anything around her. I can’t even say I’ve purchased something without her saying something negative…so I’ve learned to keep quiet about a lot.

I have a 2nd best friend also (she’s so supportive in whatever I choose to do). Well the 1st BF made sure it was known that she was the MOH during their dress trial. I mean who does that…when its already unspoken (and has been discussed with the 2nd BF in private) that she was the MOH. Crap like that just makes me want to have no bridal party. I am sure that when I  finally get married that we will drift even further. She made a comment the other day how her 2nd best friend didn’t want to hang out with her one weekend b/c she’s expecting a baby and wanted to spend time with her husband instead before the baby came. “Every since she got pregnant its like she doesnt want to hang out.” Geez…she was being a cry baby. So I can only imagine what’s gonna happen after my wedding. But I just have come to the realization that people do grow apart, especially when you start to focus on family and they are focused on other things. 

Post # 8
Member
122 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’d talk with her face to face. Friends do drift apart, but I think the good friendships, the ones that are meant to last, evolve with time and circumstances. Maybe that means you don’t see each other as often or you don’t have as much in common anymore as your lives go in different directions, but that doesn’t mean the two of you still can’t be close and maintain a friendship.

Post # 10
Member
4688 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

I’ve found I’ve been super sensitive during the wedding planning process and really over-analyzing how people treat me. Any sort of “emotional” neglect has been heightened. Myabe that’s what’s happening to you?

She might be jealous and you might be teritorial but try to let it go. Weddings bring out so many bad qualities in us!!

Why don’t you just take her to lunch or coffee or do a little special something to make her feel appreciated? Good luck!

Post # 12
Member
2626 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I’m happy that you and your MOH are back on track. Life is tricky sometimes. People grow, people don’t grow and it’s hard to stay connected when your focus changes. I’ve found that Sometimes when people see others get to places in their lives that  they desire to be, it makes them feels some type of way whether it be jealous or dissappointed in their position in life and they unconciously distance themselves. I’m guilty too. A lot of times if you just wait it out things will come back together and you’ll get back on the same wave length. I love my best friends and I got a little teary eyed thinking about how I’d feel if I were in your situation. You seem to be in a good place in your life and you have so much to celebrate, so I would just make sure that you take some moments to celebrate/compliment your friend so she won’t feel some type of way when you’re gushing about about your wedding etc.

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