(Closed) MOH drama, need advice!

posted 6 years ago in Weddingbee
Post # 3
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Since the Maid/Matron of Honor and her boyfriend live so far from the wedding I think you definately should have made the exception to allow him at the rehearsal. As for the night before and day of getting ready, I think you were fully in the right to expect that to be just girl time with your BMs. That being said, I think you should have been understanding that this girl wouldn’t be able to spend the night then, and be okay with her coming by the morning of. I don’t see a big issue with her wanting to bring her bf’s daugther to the shower, as she was probably taking care of the girl that day, or trying to bond with the child, a 1 yr old wouldn’t have been a problem IMO.Some people just don’t RSVP, and some assume they shouldn’t have to if they are in wedding party. As for everything else, was this girl aware of her responsibilities by accepting the role of MOH? if not then all that stuff could be an honest mistake, and she may have felt you were being a demanding bridezilla.

I’m in no way condoning her calling you names, that is never ok. But I can see how if she felt she was being attacked by all your accusations of her she could be defensive. I don’t think it was wrong of you to kick her out of the Bridal Party, that’s 100% your decision and if you were no longer comfortable in her being in that role thats fine. I’m assuming that you are requesting the dress returned to you since you paid for it? am I right, if not you have no grounds to request the dress back. I wonder if you are really ready to end this friendship with someone you were clearly close enough with to ask to be your Maid/Matron of Honor. 

Post # 4
Member
3886 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Tiffmorris:  Well said. 

When someone travels to take part in your wedding, you do have to be a little more accomodating of them than an in-town guest.  I agree that it was a reasonable request from your MoH to have her boyfriend with her the night before the wedding, and the two of them staying together in the hotel would have been a reasonable and apprpriate accomodation. I also agree with the OP that having the boyfriend around for hair and makeup is not reasonable— not because this should be a “girls only” zone or “girl bonding” time but rather, logistically, there is never enough time or space, and having an extra person underfoot just makes things worse.

The OP and her MoH were both in the wrong but it seems as if the OP’s exclusion of the MoH boyfriend is what set things in motion. 

If there is any hope to salvage the friendship, I would apologize to the MoH and offer a compromise: MoH and boyfriend stay in the hotel the night before, together, while the rest of the bridal party stay at the bride’s house. Then MoH and boyfriend part ways till later in the day. Put her back in the wedding and mend your fences. OP by forcing the MoH to choose between you and her SO, you set things up for a big fight, and while I don’t at all condone name-calling amongst friends, I can absolutely see how a situation can get out of hand quickly when someone is being forced to make a choice like that.

The topic ‘MOH drama, need advice!’ is closed to new replies.

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