MOH drama, needing advice please!

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
9828 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Well, first of all I think the best thing to avoid all of this would have been for you to either go with them or to give them strict parameters about dress such as it must be X color, X length, etc.

Since you can’t go back and avoid this, what is your vision for the wedding? Did you plan on your Maid/Matron of Honor having a different dress than the other girls or had you intended for everyone to match? It’s really up to you and your preferences. Decide what you want and then go with it. If you want everyone in the same dress then you need to sit down face to face with Maid/Matron of Honor and explain to her that you would like everyone to wear matching dresses and thats why she was not consulted prior. You love her and want her to be apart of the wedding but unfortunately this is the dress and if she is not willing to wear the dress you’re asking everyone to wear then you hope she will still attend as a guest.

If you wanted your Maid/Matron of Honor to look different and wear a different dress then just say, okay, go find another dress. 

Post # 3
Member
6810 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

What were the parameters you set in place before these dress shopping excursions? Did you give them colors? Lengths? Fabric? Any specific guidelines to follow? 

I’d say that your Maid/Matron of Honor is being ridiculous but I don’t know if you originally told her she would be in a different dress or not…

Post # 6
Member
2395 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Your Maid/Matron of Honor is acting like a child. Ignore her

Post # 7
Member
6810 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

mrsgurley121717 :  Well I think this could’ve probably been avoided by giving them both more direction and guidelines in this whole process. But it is what it is and here you are now. 

Yes, I think your Maid/Matron of Honor is being overly dramatic and silly. However, you know this woman well I’m assuming and I do not. Is she typically a “look at me!” type of person? Did you have an idea going into this that she’d want to stand out and be different? Does she usually overreact? It sounds like she told you beforehand that she wanted to have a different dress than anyone else so I get why she’d be upset about it now. Not saying she’s right, but it seems she thought you all were on the same page. Why doesn’t she switch to the other color? Is that a possibility?

Post # 10
Member
6810 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

mrsgurley121717 :  Well that’s weird if it seems she’s done a complete 180. Have you sat down and talked with her about what’s going on and how what she said made you feel? Asked her if anything in particular is wrong? What did you say when she threatened to not be Maid/Matron of Honor at all?

Post # 11
Member
189 posts
Blushing bee

Can you organize for her bouquet to be different from the bridesmaids? Maybe that’s enough difference. 

Post # 12
Member
828 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Anyone who threatens to drop out of a wedding over a dress probably shouldn’t be in the wedding in the first place. 

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