Post # 1
You can catch up here
The paragraph below is the e-mail I recieved from MOH this morning. I don’t really know what to say to it. In all honesty, I think that maybe I don’t want her to be there, I feel like she made the choice and it was her ex she chose…Her comment about leaving an hour early irks me because she said that she would be leaving 3 hours early which is why I was so against it (that is half of the reception). Along with the “I thought that she would of bailed” comment, which I said when she said my wedding has been hell for her to be a part of.
After talking with my parents, grandparents, and friends who have gotten married already, it has been decided if you don’t want me to be in the wedding that is your choice. Nothing about leaving the reception early is an action taken against you or your wedding, especially after all formalities are done. So, it is your choice whether you want me there or not. I honored the agreement to be your “MOH” throughout this entire process and in all aspects I have been fair and accommodating (whether being the human punching bag or simply rescheduling a shoot to spend more time with you). However, by me wanting to leave the reception an hour early you are not wanting me to participate, that is fine. I am done arguing with you over 1-2 hours and inappropriate comments that throw an entire friendship away. I am not dropping out of the wedding but being able to state, “You thought I would’ve bailed already”, I feel that is both offensive and rude. I wish both Andy and you the best in the long run and a wonderful wedding. Please don’t contact me at work regarding this. It is busy here the next few days and my Uncle will be undergoing surgery tomorrow.
Post # 3
Wow it sounds like she thinks you treat her like a punching bag and honestly doesn’t want to be a part of your wedding or possibly life anymore. I’d take her out of your wedding, you dont want it to ruin your day.
Post # 4
an hour early? i thought she wanted to leave three hours early?
is there any way that you guys can let go of the hurt feelings and start fresh?
i’m sure deep down inside it means a lot for you to have her be there for you on your day…
but i understand if you’ve been let down… either way, good luck and i hope you have a fabulous wedding!!!
Post # 5
Oh wow, I’m so sorry this drama is continuing. It sounds like she’s wiping her hands clean of all obligations. I don’t think you should have her in the wedding. The tension will probably effect your day and you don’t need that.
Post # 6
Thanks all for the words of support.
What pisses me off more than anything is her story keeps changing. We discussed this all last week, she asked if she could leave early, I said very calmly that I would prefer that she stay for the entire event and she said fine, only to turn around yesterday and say all this. I, of course would love it if we could just make amends and have her there, but in all honesty, I think it would be nothing but tension and stress. I have no idea how to reply to this message, I basically am losing my best friend.
Post # 7
Any advice as to what to say to her or how to handle it? I don’t want to be nasty (tho I am tempted) I just want to not have to deal with the BS anymore.
Post # 8
I’m sorry that you are dealing with this FurtureMrsTal. It sucks when you feel like you’re losing your best friend.
I would say something like, I am sorry you feel that way, I also don’t want to argue anymore about this. I love you and really wanted you to be there for the most important day of my life. I just wish that you could see it through my eyes and understand. You are my Maid/Matron of Honor and I need your support. By you leaving the reception early, whether it’s 3 hours or 1 hour (which at this point isn’t important), I feel it actually is a slap in the face and does not show your support of my union and has a huge impact on the wedding. You would be missing the majority of the reception and us spending time together. I want nothing more than for you to be happy, but I feel that you can see (your ex) any day. Why can’t it be after my reception is over? I would think he would understand the importance of the occasion and realize that you need to be there for your best friend as I would be there for you.
I am under alot of stress right now, with being only 2 weeks from the wedding and I feel that you are springing all of this on me, when I really only need support.
I also feel that you keep changing the story and keep trying to come up with ways to get out of being in the wedding (i.e. wanting to invite ex, leaving 3 hours early, etc.) and so I only said that you didn’t have to be in the wedding anymore, because I wanted to give you an easy way out, because it appears that that is what you want to do.
I love you and want you there, but I don’t want to feel like my wedding is a burden to you and getting in the way of you having a good time with your ex.
Keep us updated and in the end, don’t stress about this. This is her loss. Focus on the fact that your day will be beautiful no matter if she is there or not and that you will be marrying your Fiance.
Post # 9
I’m not sure I understand the problem.
She needs to leave the reception early for some reason. OK. Well that is out of your hands.
What’s the issue that’s making you not want her in the wedding? That is the part I can’t figure out.
Post # 10
kcasam – her Maid/Matron of Honor wants to leave early to go see her ex bf
Post # 11
Yeah if my Maid/Matron of Honor left early to see her ex I would be livid, he’s an ex for a reason and it’s my wedding, not just some party.
Post # 12
I see…so are you mad because you hate the ex or because you feel slighted?
I would be mad, too, but this is not somethign you can control (unless you don’t want her in the wedding, of course)
Sorry she’s doing this to you! Hope you guys can come to a compromise.