Post # 1
Ok so Im going to make this short as possible. My Maid/Matron of Honor is a good frined of mine. she has been though a lot with me and is about 7 years older than me and is kind of like my fun big sis. so of course I asked her to be my Maid/Matron of Honor she was so excited or so it seemed. Since then and since the wedding activities started getting underway. She missed my first bridal shower ( I have previously posted about this.) she had over a months notice and had to work… simply bc she didnt request it off. The first shower was just my family and close family frineds like my godmother etc.
Then this shower was the one that my Maid/Matron of Honor was supposed to be planning. (her idea btw) and the other bridesmaids of course were helping. They did a breakfast at tiffanys theme and it was very cute! But all my other girls did everything she just did centerpieces and then complained about how much money she spent and said she was returning everything she could. Now Im a little frustrated at this… She got all the glasswear from the dollar store and spent total maybe 40 dollars now 40 dollars is 40 dollars I get it but dont complain this shower was your idea
ON top of that she is 31 years old and much more financially stable then the rest of my girls and they did everything else the food, favors, place settings, games, prizes, door prize, everything. My mom even though she wasnt hosting still to help the girls out paid for the venue and the cake as well as table linens… I just dont get what she is complaining about then she had the nerve to be disrespectful to my mommy!!! ugh.
Then She requested off work to go to my first dress fitting and just didnt show up called me as Im walking out of DB to ask how my fitting went, and to tell her when the next one is so she can learn to do my bustle.. ugh ya right I cant count on your for shit!!
so after all of that and through all of that I have one of my other bridesmaids we will call her stephanie. She always calls and asks do we need to go shopping for anything, helps with projects, went to my fitting, paid for a lot of the shower, she is my bestie for about the last 4 years, but I knew my Maid/Matron of Honor longer. anyways Steph has been right by my side in every part of planning etc. is it okay to make her my Maid of Honor and still keep my other Maid/Matron of Honor or make her my Matron of Honor. I just feel like my Maid/Matron of Honor isnt involved or steppin up and Steph is. I dont want to take her title away, but I would like to recognize my other friend what do you bees think?
Post # 3
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
There is no law that says you can’t have 2 MOHs. If that is what you want to do, go for it!
Post # 4
I think you should leave things the way they are. Demoting someone will only lead to more problems, and possibly someone walking and you’d be down a bridesmaid with only a few weeks to go. Honestly, I am sorry she is being difficult but she threw you a shower (even though she complained about it), and then showed interest in your bridal appointment when she couldn’t make it. That’s way more than any of my girls have done, so I would be happy even with that haha. 🙂
Post # 5
@organizedbride11: Just because she is older doesn’t mean she might not be going through a difficult time financially. I would cut her some slack and keep things as they are.
Post # 6
@Bostongrl25: She is older and more financially stable than my other Bridesmaid or Best Man that work part time and go to school… I know a lot about her finances. I wouldnt just assume. I said it because I know. I know its a bad time for everything but then dont offer to host if your not going to do so and put it on everyone else. lol She is making me crazy!!! Ahhhhhh Im glad I posted though, because you bees always give me good advice.
Post # 7
@organizedbride11: I say have a talk with her (if you haven’t already) and explain to her your concerns. It sounds like your Bridesmaid or Best Man is being much more helpful and stepping up.
It is your day, so have it your way. I do like the 2 Maid/Matron of Honor Idea, just make sure SOMEONE knows how to bustle your dress, I would probably invite them both, if they both show up, they are both MOHs, however, if the current Maid/Matron of Honor can’t even make it to that 1 VERY IMPORTANT appointment, I would have to say, in my personal opinion, I would more than likely explain to her that I needed someone I can count on to help me during my special once in a life time day, and due the history, unfortunately, I am not sure how reliable the current situation will be.
This is just my opinion.
Good Luck and let us know what happens!
Post # 8
If you decide to say something, just be prepared for a backlash. If you can’t bear the thought of her not being in your wedding, it might not be worth it to confront or demote her.
Post # 9
I would leave it the way it is so things dont get more complicated and just make sure that ‘Steph’ knows how much she is appreciated. I would also make sure her thank you gift shows the appreciation for all she has done above the other girls.
Post # 10
@TinaBina0729: This is a great idea. Thank you.