(Closed) MOH drama

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
46416 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I don’t think any of us get to decide for someone else how they spend their money. If you plan a whole weekend, you have to know that not everyone’s budget can handle that.

Whatever happened to an evening out on the town with the girls?

Post # 4
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

im not going to say you are being silly but if someone cant afford it they cant afford it, its not up to you to judge if where they spend their money is worthwhile or not

i dont think its really “moh drama” as she is going to be there for part of the weekend but that doesnt mean you cant feel disappointed but try to focus on the positives

Post # 5
Member
6824 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I agree you can’t expect people to do a whole weekend.  You do not know her money situation and you should not judge her.  Just be thankful she can come for part of it

Post # 6
Member
7403 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@julies1949: Exactly. IMO I think these B parties are getting out hand. A whole weekend is asking alot. I know its dispointing but she’s gonna be there for the most important day…the wedding. Focus on that.

Post # 7
Member
215 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I know if I were in your shoes I would be upset! It’s not like she is some random friend, she is your freaking Maid/Matron of Honor. Not only should she go to it all, she is supposed to be the one hosting it. I would definitely judge a friend that did that to me. But, unfortunately there is nothing you can really do about it. If you make a big deal out of it I doubt it will resolve anything. It will probably only make things worse. So, be happy that you have a bridesmaid who is throwing you a bachelorette party!

Post # 9
Member
1571 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@pyma: I don’t think it’s your wanting her there that people are commenting on, rather it’s your commentary on how she chooses to spend her money. I think we can all understand your being upset about her missing out. I’d definitely be sad.

Post # 10
Member
46416 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

funny how the only person who gets thanked is the one person who agreed with you. LOL

Post # 11
Member
3482 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Technically none of them have to plan or attend a bachelorette party for you, so I would be thankful that you’re getting a party and that your Maid/Matron of Honor will be there for at least part of it. Please remember why you asked these girls to be in your bridal party in the first place, rather than judging them by how much mileage you think you’re getting out of them.

Post # 13
Member
2542 posts
Sugar bee

Did you ever consider that perhaps she handed off the planning because she feels pressured to put on something perfect for you and knows she wouldn’t be able to afford it? Perhaps when she accepted your invitation to be your Maid/Matron of Honor it was because she wanted to be there for your special day and didn’t realize she would have to pay for an entire bachelorette weekend? 

Do you know her financial situation intimately or just from what she’s told you? It can be embarassing to admit to your friends that you can’t afford things that (seemingly) everyone else in the wedding can. I work very few hours at my work and I have to cover my rent, a mountain of debt, and the cost of daily living.

 I am an Maid/Matron of Honor in someone’s wedding and I’m having a very difficult time affording the many things it entails (outifit, hair, makeup, gifts, parties, etc.) I would never admit that outright to my friend. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I don’t think she’s a horrible person not being able to afford to go to the whole thing. If she’s really that good of a friend, you should take her feelings and situation into account, too. As amazing as your wedding and surrounding events should be, is it worth starting a fight and potentially damaging a close friendship over?

Post # 15
Member
2542 posts
Sugar bee

@pyma: Sorry if my post came off as rude. Didn’t mean it to, just that there are two sides to everything and that she may feel as bad about not being able to go to the whole thing due to money as you do about her not coming. Is there any way the bachelorette could be scaled back so that she can come to the whole thing and you can both be happy/have a great time??

The topic ‘MOH drama’ is closed to new replies.

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