Post # 1
Member
784 posts
Busy bee
Basically I want to compile a “responsibility” list for my Maid/Matron of Honor. I am the first of our group of friends to get married (YAAAA) and bascially NONE of us have even been in a wedding as adults. Overall, I havent really asked my ladies to do much. And I honestly dont mind that.
The other day Fiance and I wend to MOH’s for a cookout (just with a bunch of friends) and Maid/Matron of Honor said ” My mom wants to know when your shower is “
I told her I wasnt sure, and said honestly, I think your supposed to organize that honey.
She said “Sh**, this is my first rodeo!!” lol.
I mean, Im not even sure what all her “duties” are. ya know.
So just curious if anyone has a self made, fabulously compiled list or just a good one that they have gotten from somewhere. 🙂
PS – im not looking to have her take over or anything. Just for a “know” kinda deal. Plus, so I can be a badass Maid/Matron of Honor when she gets married. haha
Post # 3
Member
5473 posts
Bee Keeper
Her “duties” are to purchase the dress you select based on her budget, and to show up and stand beside you, smile pretty for pictures. I know that’s an old tired party line, but when it boils down to it, that is what she absolutely MUST do.
However, as your Maid/Matron of Honor, if she and the other BM’s choose to, they can plan, organize, pay for, and host your bridal shower & bach party. These are not required, but they’re nice! Also, as Maid/Matron of Honor, and really as a Bridesmaid or Best Man, she should be supportive of you, offer to help with projects, and basically just be a good girlfriend.
In return, you should treat her like a friend first, Maid/Matron of Honor second. Try to have some outings that don’t revolve around you or your wedding. Have dinner & drinks with no wedding talk once in a while. If you remember that she is your nearest & dearest friend, it will make her job as Maid/Matron of Honor easier- because she will WANT to help you out & be there for you.
Post # 4
Member
784 posts
Busy bee
@DaneLady great! thanks!! Oh trust me. I am DEFF a friend first!!! We have had a 2 year engagement and i am 80% done with my pretty much enitre DIY wedding… and when I say DIY I mean DIMY (do it myself) hahaha. And we have PLENTY of outtings where I am just so tired of weddingplanning, that when people ask me about it – I stray from the subject. lol. Not a typical bride. hahah.
But yes, thank you! 🙂
Post # 5
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
I agree with DaneLady all your Maid/Matron of Honor and BMs HAVE to do is show up, preferably clean and sober wearing the dress you picked out in their budget. Smiling and joy would be nice but it is not required. 
Post # 6
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
I agree with PPs. To any other brides out there thinking of making a ‘list of duties’ …. please don’t. That’s something you give to your paid coordinator, not your closest friends.