MOH Etiquette

posted 1 year ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 16
47 posts

I agree with the other posters about rethinking the Maid/Matron of Honor role you took on. I don’t know anything about your bride but generally brides do expect their Maid/Matron of Honor to put in significant time/effort into helping them ie planning the bachelerotte and the bridal shower, helping with wedding planning. Sometimes friendships are even ruined when a bride feels the Maid/Matron of Honor isn’t there for her in the way the bride expected. It sounds like you have a lot on your plate and perhaps it is better to back out now than risk compromising the friendship? 

Post # 17
5423 posts
Bee Keeper

Wait do you have to drive 4 hours to go to a lunch then drive 4 hours back? 

Post # 18
2137 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: City, State

View original reply
sweatergal007 :  It looks as though it’s an hour drive each way. 

Post # 19
7557 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I guess I’ll go against the grain and say that it sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now with your child’s health issue, and I think you are justified in skipping this event. It sounds like an informal lunch, not the bridal shower or something more “important.” I would have a really hard time leaving my child if she was sick and in pain too, even if my presence didnt’ actually take away the pain.

Post # 20
5423 posts
Bee Keeper

View original reply
bouviebee :  Ohhh got it. 

Was wondering why no one mentioned that. Because driving all day no thanks. 

Ok so an hour is how long to get anywhere for us here in SoCal. But I say if you can get childcare then I’d try to go. It might be fun. 

Post # 21
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2019

Honestly, if she’s your friend and that great of one, every situation is unique and I do think she will understand. I had a similar issue with one of my MOHs– I have two, and one has been planning a ton of pricey things and events and the other one lives out of town and just can’t afford to take time off of work or come to these things. I can’t tell you that it doesn’t frustrate me, because I want her to be there, but at the same time I do understand and it’s part of why I had two. Sometimes it’s just the way it shakes out! I’m learning there’s no textbook definition of Maid/Matron of Honor or bridesmaid–each situation is unique. 

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