(Closed) MOH Frustration…

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
4520 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Huh. Honestly, this doesn’t make any sense to me. Her reaction to you sounds WAY out of whack. If she volunteered to write your engagement announcement, I really don’t understand why she’d be mad at you for asking for it….?? Is it possible that she’s jealous of you and the attention you’re getting because of the wedding? Or could something else be bothering her? There must be something else going on. 

Do you have other siblings? If I were you, I’d just keep trying to talk to her, I guess. If it were a friend, I’d choose another Maid/Matron of Honor after she said she was “f-ing done,” but since it’s your sister… I’d keep trying before replacing her. 

I am sorry this is happening. It sounds so frustrating.


Post # 4
629 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Riot: Wow, that was super rude of her!  Your Maid/Matron of Honor is supposed to HELP you, not scream at you for asking for something that they volunteered to do 5 months ago.  Totally out of line.  Would you be able to talk to your parents about it?  If she’s not willing to help, I would ask her to step down as Maid/Matron of Honor because you’re going to need the help as you get closer as well as at the wedding.

Post # 5
362 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Is there something else going on? Were their other things before this incident? How was your relationship before the engagement? Is it possible that she is feeling angry because you are getting married or getting attention? I know, lots of questions. I’m not asking for you to answer here on the board but just a few things to think about. I think, like another post suggested, it is not about the wedding. Something else is going on in her life that caused such a major over reaction. If you decide to talk to her, don’t make it about the wedding make it about your relationship. Let her know you care about her and want to know what is going on.

On the other hand, I know that you are in the middle of planning a wedding and are probably stressed out enough without having to deal with this nonsense. The situation as a whole is frustrating. Take a deep cleansing breathe …

Post # 6
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Yeah I dont follow… this just seems way out of proportion. Is there more to the story?

Post # 8
362 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Don’t mean to dominate the post here.

But I say this from experience, but may she is scared about losing you. I know that may seem silly. But since you guys were close, she may feel that now that you “off to get married” that you won’t be her sister anymore. Not in the literal sense, obviously you will be her sister, but maybe she feels ‘abondoned.” I can’t find the right wording here, but I think you get my drift. Some people just don’t do well with change.

As you guys have such a good relationship, I think she probably just needs sometime to get herself together. Hope everything works out for you! Congratulations on the wedding!

Post # 9
3049 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

It’s possible that she blew up because you contacted her in every way possible to give her the announcement. Texting her might have been enough, and just give her enough time to respond. In the post, it sounded like you texted, called, etc etc within a short amount of time. Maybe she was in class? And after she fought with you, calling and texting again is the same way in which she got angry before. Maybe you should just give her a few days to calm down and then leave her a nice voicemail. After the voicemail, leave her alone for another few days and give her time to respond. That way she doesn’t feel like you are “harassing” her.. or however her friend put it.

But basically, she’s your sister… sister’s tend to get crazy around each other. I’m sure she’ll come around!

Post # 11
58 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’m not really sure what’s going on but it definitely seems like she’s being unreasonable. She’s probably stressed out with other stuff and is taking it out on you evne though your resquest is not unreasonable (e.g. I have a midterm, sorority events, a fight with a friend, a paper due and you’re asking for the typed up announcement?! Ahh I’m busy! Why are you bothering me? You’re such a bridezilla!). I’m  sorry Frown

Post # 13
10 posts

My Maid/Matron of Honor is my sister and I have had similar frustrations (although not nearly to your extent!).  One thing that I’ve tried to realize is that my sister is in a completley different world than I am.  Esepcially if your sister is in college.  I know when I was in college I was much more selfish and too busy for anyone so I probably would have been the worst maid of honor ever!  Obviously this in no way excuses her actions.  She is 100% in the wrong here.  I just know that I personally have to try and understand where the other person is coming from otherwise I will hold a grudge.  I think you need to try and sit down and talk to her and hopefully you can clear the air.  Unfortuntaley you probably won’t be able to rely on her for the typical Maid/Matron of Honor duties but maybe one of your other BMs can step in and help.  I’m sorry your’e going through all of this! 

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