(Closed) MOH getting married…I just wanted ONE day….VENT

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
5296 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

At your shower, you will be the focus. Her wedding will be old news. And it’s nowhere near your actual wedding, so you’ll still get that “one day”. 

For real, I thought your Maid/Matron of Honor was getting married the same day as you…….not that her wedding was a few weeks before your shower. It will all be fine!

Post # 4
Member
748 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

🙁 I’m sorry. That really stinks. I guess you can take it as a good thing that the wedding isn’t happening two weeks before your actual wedding (instead of the shower). I know that it isn’t that much better but hopefully that makes it a little bit easier on you.

Post # 5
Member
1330 posts
Bumble bee

My BFF who was engaged for 4 years announced her wedding a month before mine. Honestly, I am so happy for her that she is tying the knot,  iam more than happy to be her Maid/Matron of Honor and focus on her and then sit back and enjoy mine. Dont worry! 🙂

Post # 6
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@speechgal44:  I’m sorry you’re feeling frustrated.  I agree with hisgoosiegirl, though.  By the time your wedding rolls around, hers will be long gone!  You’ll be the star.  How many mutual friends do you have?  Will many people be at both weddings?

This is a great place to vent!  Seriously, even though we all know how we’re “supposed” to feel, these feelings creep up once in awhile.  

Post # 7
Member
2712 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Her getting married 2 weeks before your shower won’t take anything away from your wedding or your shower.  You said it yourself, you only get one day – not a week, not a month, not year.  It’ll be just fine, I promise!

 

Post # 10
Member
5296 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

if this is her THIRD wedding, believe me, your wedding will definitely be more important 🙂

Post # 11
Member
11272 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

don’t let it worry you.  there’s always going to be something. 

i agree with hisgoosiegirl

just focus on the fun.

 

Post # 12
Member
2603 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I don’t know how to say this in a way that’s sort of warm and fuzzy–BUT:

No one–except you–cares. What I mean is, no one else is seeing your shower in relation to your friend’s wedding, with the possible exception of those who might be travelling for both. But honestly, in my own life, I really see events as just events, one after the other, and my excitement over them has NOTHING to do with their proximity to each-other–that’s your hang-up and I can practically guarantee that no one else is thinking along those lines about you and your shower. 

I also hate to say this and apologize if it’s a bit of an overreach, but if you know that this perspective of yours doesn’t make any sense and that you’re overreacting, then…why are you allowing yourself to feel this way? What are you getting out of it? It’s reading that this a way to put focus on yourself as the “victim.” That’s understandable, but it’s not a great way to be. You WANT to be generous with your friends and happy for your Maid/Matron of Honor, right? So, rather than wasting your energy on feeling mopey about this (especially since you KNOW you can’t control when other people have plans), focus on celebrating what you DO have–your Fiance, your friends, a big family who will celebrate with you (perhaps a few members who have their OWN birthdays on your big day, maybe?). Your wedding will be about you–that I can promise.

 

Post # 14
Member
2603 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@speechgal44:  If you really feel that way, then it sounds like she’s more of a taker than a giver? In which case, why continue being a friend (as opposed to just an acquaintance)?

Post # 15
Member
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

You will still get your day, it’s not like she is getting married at your shower or the day before. It will be a few weels past and the focus will be on you.

I feel you though! I always have to share my birthday.

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