(Closed) MoH gone crazy?

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Is this all a little too much?
    Yes the MoH was out of line : (68 votes)
    19 %
    No one should expect a BM to spend that kind of money : (117 votes)
    32 %
    That might be a little high but my BM's are spending almost that : (1 votes)
    0 %
    All sounds pretty normal to me : (3 votes)
    1 %
    Don't ask her to be a BM : (3 votes)
    1 %
    Ask her to be a BM and make sure to tell her your wedding won't be this kind of financial burden : (105 votes)
    29 %
    She should drop out of the wedding before it costs her more money : (68 votes)
    19 %
  • Post # 3
    45652 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Either the MOH is out of touch with reality, or your friend is hanging out wiht people who have far greater financial resources than she does.


    Post # 5
    1828 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    I would be encouraging my friend to drop out of this wedding. It is absolutely insane that anyone would be expected to spend this much to be in a wedding!

    Post # 6
    45652 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @MsGinkgo:  I would make sure she knows she can still opt out. This is a ridiculous amount of money to spend on someoone else’s wedding.

    ” I’m sorry ____, but with my other obligations, I am unable to be in your bridal party. I will be happy to attend as a guest.”

    Post # 8
    7872 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @MsGinkgo:  MOH and bride have both gone crazy.

    If the bride is going to dicate what hotel her BMs should stay at, then she should pay. Your friend should decline the $300 /night room and look elsewhere.

    Your friend should refuse to give MOH $100 for the gift, saying she will buy a gift herself. And of course ask MOH why the shower costs so much.

    Though I agree with PPs that a better option is probably to drop out of the wedding. Yes she’s already lost $500 on a dress, but it makes the point that this cr*p won’t be tolerated.

    Post # 9
    3887 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Most airlines let you cancel for a full refund within 24 hours Of booking. You usually have to do it over the phone, not online.

    PS your poll needs an option for “your friend needs to drop the heck out of this money-pit of a wedding!”


    Post # 10
    2872 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Yeah that’s freakin’ crazy.  I would never spend that much as a BM and I would never DREAM of asking my BMs to pay that much.  However, I don’t think that has anything to do with your wedding.  If your BM costs will be reasonable, I wouldn’t not invite her just because this other wedding is draining her. 

    Post # 12
    577 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    That’s seriously nuts. I’d have been out at the dress, personally.

    I’d say do ask your friend to be your bridesmaid but make sure she knows that your expectations are not that crazy.

    Post # 13
    918 posts
    Busy bee

    @MsGinkgo:  that’s a LOT of money! Next time J is venting to you about the wedding maybe say “have you considered asking to attend as a guest? It seems like its straining you financially, I’m sure they’d understand”. 

    Post # 14
    4778 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @MsGinkgo:  She should drop out but then again this isn’t your issue.  I don’t think you should convice her to.  I mean she has a mind of her own and hopefully her own backbone too.

    By all means ask her to be your BM.  All these are her decisions, not yours.

    Post # 15
    1592 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    $400 pp for the shower is prob avg around here- why I don’t want one. The rest is insane. 

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