Post # 1
So I love my Maid/Matron of Honor dearly, but I think …well I know that my wedding has given her super wedding fever.
We went to Alfred Angelo to get her another Maid/Matron of Honor dress and while there she saw the dress that was “the one” in an advertisment there. $999 was the tag
That would be a really great story—if my friend was getting married.
Yep, thats right… she isn’t getting married—in fact she’s only been dating her newest boyfriend for about a month and a half… Marriage is definitely the last thing on his mind.
I feel partly responsible though—I told her she should try it on. SHAME ON ME I KNOW!
She isn’t that well off financially, and has yet to put the down payment on it. SO I have been trying to discourage this at least until a year into her relationship. She is very sensitive and men are her weakness. I just don’t want her to get hurt and have a gorgeous gown in the closet for nothing. Thats a big investment that can go to other bills or dreams she has, or maybe even a “wedding savings fund”.
But I didn’t think she would be so in love she would buy it.
I just want her to be happy. But I don’t want her to do something so impulsive. Especially when I know its my wedding thats getting her so excited. Her current relationship is even very rocky.
Have any of you done this, or had any friends that did this?
How did you handle it?
Post # 3
hhhahaah because your post reminded me of a conversation with a temp i had a year or so ago
her: i bought my wedding dress on the weekend
me: oh, are you engaged – i didnt know that!
her: no, i dont even have a boyfriend but i loved the dress so much i bought it
me: [silence while thinking nothing screams run away as much as a first date when you tell him you have already picked out your wedding dress]
Post # 4
Wait, is this the same bee who’s thinking of buying her own engagement ring without even being engaged yet? LOL, this seems a bit crazy to me, and I’ll bet you anything that when your Maid/Matron of Honor finally does get married, her tastes in dresses will have changed drastically. *shaking my head*
Post # 5
My best friends ex husbands best friends wife (phew..can you follow that? LOL) bought a wedding dress 6 years before she met her husband. And it was pink. Bright. Neon. Pink! and from the 80’s (she got married in the early 90’s).
Post # 6
Maybe she has decided to pracitce the secret at a very visual rate. If you can see it you can believe it. J/K Just be supportive. She probably has a shopping hangover.
Post # 7
I had a friend that did something similar. She actually bought her dress before she met her husband. At first I thought she was crazy, but she ended up wearing it at her wedding and planning the entire wedding around it.
But none of our friends were getting married at the time, so she wasn’t wishing to get married as much as your friend might be… she just found a good dress (at a great price).
That said, I would talk to my friend and mention things like wedding trends changing, and other dress related reasons to put off buying it. I don’t know if i’d be able to bring up anything about the boyfriend because girls can get so defensive, I wouldn’t want her to get upset with me and then go buy the dress anyway…
Post # 8
No—I think I will draw the line at buying her own engagement ring!
She is just is so infatuated with love. She loves the whole idea of it. She actually just got her divorce finalized in December. Sooo yea.. marriage………….no
Can you imagine her spending a grand on a dress you never knowing when she’ll wear it? Also, if she breaks up with her current Boyfriend or Best Friend, wouldnt the dress just depress her? Everytime she’ll see it she will feel worthless, like she isn’t meant to be happily married and in love 🙁
I don’t want that for her.
Post # 9
My thinking would be it’s her money and she can spend it on whatever she wants.
Maybe she bought it (or wants to buy it–didn’t you say she didn’t put down the deposit?) because, for her, this is THE dress and she’s afraid that when she does get married, it will be discontinued. Maybe it has nothing to do with this particular boyfriend, but just with the dress.
Seems this is her decision, her money, her dress. If it were my friend, I would just stay out of it.
Post # 10
Your title says that your Maid/Matron of Honor bought a gown. In your post, you say that she didn’t put a deposit on it. So … did she buy it or didn’t she?
I’m kind of confused why anyone would encourage someone coming off of a divorce to try on wedding gowns in the first place.
Post # 11
I think you should talk to her. She’s a month off a divorce, already dating, not well off financially and buying thousand dollar wedding gowns. Someone needs to talk to her and tell her she’s being crazy, and if she’s your best friend, it might as well be you.
Post # 12
i have to agree with lacrosse…you shouldn’t have encouraged her to try on the dress. she’s newly divorced and one of her best friends is getting married…it’s got to be a rough time for her.
ultimately, it’s her money. i would try to talk her out of it by reminding her how much styles and circumstances change.
Post # 13
One of my friends bought her wedding dress already (4 years ago).
While dating her previous boyfriend. She got a really great deal and loved the dress (the style is very classic). She is now planning on marrying the current guy she’s with and she will wear the dress.
I would never do it but I guess if she is level headed about it it could work.
Post # 14
Honestly, only someone I love and cherished as a friend would be my Maid/Matron of Honor therefore a friend I would be totally honest with. I would talk to her about why she is really buying it and if it is a wise choice. Yes someone said its her money, but this is someone that is suppose to be close to you that is coming off a divorce a month ago and is in a new relationship and not financially stable. Really? Is this a wise choice? Sometimes, people going through all that are in a clouded state and need to be pulled back to reality.
Post # 15
I’m confused. Did she buy it yet, or not?
Post # 16
@sailor: From the post, I think she put it on hold? Anyhow, if it was my Maid/Matron of Honor, I would tell her that she should chill on the dress buying. In a nice way of course.