(Closed) MOH have to give a speech?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1211 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I think it is fine! I was Maid/Matron of Honor for my best friend and my sister and I gave a speech for both. I have a minor fear of public speaking and chose to do it anyway. However, I KNOW they would have been totally FINE if I had said I’d rather not. If it’s that upsetting for you, you won’t enjoy your time at the wedding because you’ll be stressed out about it! 

Post # 4
1828 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

i think its fine, too.

i told my maid of honor that it was up to her to give a speech. im fine if she wants to and fine if she doesnt. (i know that if i were a maid of honor i’d be terrified)

just clear it with your sister first

Post # 5
29 posts
  • Wedding: January 2013

As an alternative, ask if you could rather do an AVP with your Maid/Matron of Honor messages rather than live public speaking.

I’ll do AVP for my wedding speech. I’m no good dealing public speaking that involves emotion either so I’m only gonna worry about my vow. Hopefully I can multi task crying, laughing and talking same time LOL

Post # 6
319 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

My sister is my Maid/Matron of Honor and my other sister is my Bridesmaid or Best Man and neither want to give a speech – doesn’t bother me one bit…

Post # 8
105 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I don’t think your sister will mind, but maybe consider just writing a very short (1 – 2 sentences) about the couple and challenge yourself to give the very short speech.  Afterall, most guests will be friends and family who will be delighted to see you and won’t in anyway be judging you.  Could be a real confidence booster for you!! Laughing

Post # 9
2815 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

The only person who gave a speech at my wedding was the Bridesmaid or Best Man.  I had 2 MOHs and neither one wanted to give a speech.  I didn’t want to give one.  DH thanked everyone for coming, but that was it.  

Post # 10
2786 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m sure your sister knows you’re not a big public speaker, so my guess is she won’t be surprised you feel this way. If you want to make sure that her bridal party s represented though, you could always see if one of the BMs feels comfortable and help her write it?

Another suggestion, my Fiance doesn’t want to write our own vows because he feels uncomfortable saying them in front of everyone, so intead we are writing letters to one naother which will be delivered by the Maid/Matron of Honor and Bridesmaid or Best Man the morning of the wedding….you could always write your sister a letter and give it to her the morning of, or even  the night before?

Post # 11
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

No one HAS to give a speech. My dad doesn’t like speaking in front of people either so he didn’t give one at either my wedding or my sister’s. We both had the father of the groom give a speech. If you aren’t comfortable with it just talk to the bride, I’m sure she will understand.

I had my sister give the speech rather than my Maid/Matron of Honor. Honestly, it was because my sister is an excellent public speaker and my Maid/Matron of Honor not so much. But I used the reasoning of keeping it fair since I hadn’t made my sister Maid/Matron of Honor so I would let her give the speech. So no one felt like second fiddle and no one got their feelings hurt.

Oh, and my Darling Husband totally forgot to give a speech at our wedding.

Post # 12
2968 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

you don’t have to do it and no one will think badly of you if you don’t. if you want to say something, but your fear is what’s mostly holding you back, maybe you can just say a nice, short poem or prayer, this way you don’t have the stress/pressure of composing something yourself. all you’d have to do is read 🙂

Post # 13
672 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I was in the exact same situation a couple years ago for my sister’s wedding. I also have tons of anxiety about public speaking and was also freaking out about this. I kept going back and forth on whether I would give a speech or not. I ultimately decided to give a 3 sentence toast, which I had written down word for word and pretty much read right off of it. I had my Fiance (bf at the time) come up to stand with me while I did it. I was terrified before it, and my voice was shaking during. Thinking back, I’m glad I spoke, even though it was so simple and short, but I know in the moment- I wanted to die.

Post # 15
3303 posts
Sugar bee

Trust me, you will love giving the speech. It is the most heartfelt moments besides the vows.

Post # 16
827 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I did not give a speech when I was Maid/Matron of Honor. Fiance and I decided we did not want any speeches because we just find it so uncomfortable to watch someone speaking who is nervous and neither of us would want to do it! Instead we asked if our Maid/Matron of Honor and Bridesmaid or Best Man would read a blessing. This is a little easier in my opinion because it’s already written for you, so no pressure to write something funny or emotional.

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