- 7 years ago
- Wedding: September 2011
What would you do? My cousin and I grew up like sisters, I was her maid of honor 6 years ago, now it’s my turn and I have asked her to be matron of honor and my little sister to be maid of honor. I am having each bridesmaid pick out a fun cocktail dress to wear, only parameters are fun bright colors in some way shape or form. My cousin is very superficial and cares about looks a LOT and it will be a huge issue for both her and her mom for her to not be the center of attention that day. While she was shopping for a dress, she said she couldn’t find any and wants to wear one she already has. I told that was fine, there was just one dress I don’t like of hers. It happens to be the one she wanted to wear and the following is our conversation over text and one phone call. She is now being super rude and snotty to me and I almost want to tell her she just doesn’t need to be in the wedding but I am scared it would cause a HUGE family feud. I need advice from people who don’t know either of us PLEASE!!!
My text are the intended ones, hers are bold:
ME: Yeah. It’s still 5 mo away. What pink one are you talking about? I really like the one you wore to Brandt’s wedding but for some reason I’m just not crazy about the one you wore to Ang’s. I like it, just for some reason when I picture it next to my dress I’m not crazy about it. I don’t want to hurt your feelings just want to be honest cause I think that’s what you’d want me to do. It’s like the hardest thing ever to tell people if I don’t like something. It sometimes make me wish I would’ve just picked the same dress for everyone cause it’s stressing me out. 🙁
Maid/Matron of Honor: Well maybe so! That’s the one I like and Its so similar to that blue one so I don’t know what you don’t like about it. Im not buying something I don’t love. I’m sorry. 🙁 I guess I’ll just let you pick something then. I can’t text any mite, so you’ll hv to call if u want to talk
PHONE CONVO: I called and she proceeded to yell at me telling me the only reason I don’t want her to wear that is because I don’t want her to look good. She then went on to say every bride picks bad dresses because they don’t want her to look good and that is just how it is. She told me I should scrap my idea and just pick the same dress for everyone so that everyone has to look bad. I told her that maybe I would then just pay Ginger for her dress that she already ordered and just pick one dress for everyone. She told me she could take it back and I said I don’t know, it was on clearance. She had me in tears and I just told her I’d talk to her later. Then she continued to text me…
Maid/Matron of Honor: Sorry, you’ll just have to pick something I guess. I have looked everywhere.
ME: What about that yellow target dress you wore for Jason and Katie’s rehearsal with teal? I love love love that dress! You can even ask Ging, I wanted it sooooooooo bad but my boobs ate way to big for it. I STILL think about it! It’s amazing!!!! I mean I know you wore red with it then but I mean with teal instead.
Maid/Matron of Honor: I’ll wear whatever YOU want. I give up on it. I’m very very frustrated.
ME: So am I, it’s my one day and I feel like it’s all just not going to work out. I was trying to be honest and have it turn out the way I’m envisioning it but it seems its not about that anymore. Now all I’m worried about is making you mad/upset if I’m honest.
Maid/Matron of Honor: I’ve been shopping for 3 days in las vegas no less, and nothing is as cute as what I have! That yellow one is very skimpy on the sides, but I guess it would have to due if it’s what you want, and I called dillards and ginger CAN return that dress if you need her too.
Its very confusing! First you don’t like the sequins, then you don’t like the tears, then you make me feel bad and tell me she can’t take her dress back. Your the one who told us to find above the knee and bright funky dresses. I don’t get it and i guess you’ll just have to pick it out for me like the bride normally does, not tell us to do it. I guess I have bad taste.
It should be what you want, so you can go shopping for me. I’m not going to worry about it anymore. I guess I’ll wear whatever even if I hate it. It’s how it’s been for every wedding I’ve been in and it’s kinda the way it goes when your a bridesmaid. Just wish you would have said that in the beginning. I wouldn’t have waisted my time looking for a dress for 3 days.
ME: I do not think you have bad taste at all!!!! That is the ONLY dress I have ever not liked of yours, ever!!!! I have not liked it from the very first time you wore it but I would have never ever ever told you that in a million years for fear of hurting your feelings. But when it comes to my wedding my one day, I felt I could and should be able to be honest with the one person who has been my best friend throughout my whole life! I love you and to be honest (again) I think you are being way to hard on yourself, you would look good in a paper bag!!! Hello, you are beautiful!!!! Also I really really do love that yellow dress, I so wish I could wear it, if I could I would borrow it from you for engagement photos. I love it sooooo much, have since first saw it at Target.
Maid/Matron of Honor: And I’m not mad or upset, so you so what you need to do.
ME: I would like almost anything you pick!!!
Maid/Matron of Honor: I’m not picking! I really give up!! I think what I think and I know why you don’t want me to wear the pink one. It is what it is. Like you said it’s your day, so do what you need to do! But I don’t want to wear the yellow one. It’s really revealing. Let me know when you find something and I guess I’ll have to go buy it.
Maid/Matron of Honor: Good luck! Talk to ya later
The next day she chose a dress that basically looks like something a bride would wear if it were white. I feel like she wants to ruin the day and take all the attention away from me and put it on her.