(Closed) MOH help!

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2013

This is one of the biggest reasons I chose not to have a maid of honor at all. I have two very similar friends in my bridal party, one is giving the toast, the other will stand next to me at the ceremony. All of my bridesmaids have been involved in helping out with the shower, and from what I understand the bachelorette party as well. It’s so hard to choose between two friends like that without sending the wrong message to one of them.

Post # 4
Member
1583 posts
Bumble bee

@vhmarie89:  I’d choose the childhood friend. shes your longer relationship and she lives close. I’m sure the college bestie will understand

Post # 5
Member
430 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I second the post above me.  Will you be asking her to be in your bridal party as a bridesmaid?

Post # 7
Member
6741 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

That’s why I’m looking to have 2 or none.  I think they can split the duties, plus one of them is married and so she’s the Matron of Honor and the other will be the Maid of Honor.  But if i had to pick, I’d pick the one that I’m closer to now and the one that I think could handle all the responsibilities and would enjoy doing it all. 

Post # 8
Member
1356 posts
Bumble bee

You could try to find an impersonal reason to pick one over the other. I was also thinking about who to choose between two friends that are exactly the same situation (childhood friend v. best college friend). Turns out, my Maid/Matron of Honor needs to be baptised in the denomination of the church in which we’re getting married. So that necessarily excludes one, problem solved! 

Post # 9
Member
31 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Tough one. My best advice, follow your gut. No one can give you the answer. Sometimes I do “eenie meenie minie mo” and then it helps me realized if I pick the wrong one, and I’ll change my decision 🙂

Post # 10
Member
488 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I would go with the one that lives closest to where your wedding will be. That way, she’ll be able to help out with Maid/Matron of Honor things more, and your other friend should understand. I had to make the same decision between a high school best friend and my college best friend. Hopefully she’s secure enough in your friendship that she doesn’t need the title of Maid/Matron of Honor

Post # 11
Member
261 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I agree with PP about going with your gut.  You probably already know deep down what you want to do.  If it helps I’ve been the college friend who ended up not being the Maid/Matron of Honor.  My friend and I were close and her childhood friend and her had become distant during our college years.  When we she got engaged a year or so after graduating she chose her childhood friend (whom she had recently re-connected with) to be her Maid/Matron of Honor.  I’ll admit my feelings were hurt a little initally, but I realized their relationship had been more long standing and in some ways had deeper roots than ours.  Her childhood friend knew her family better than I did and ultimately was the better choice.  Your friends are excited to share your special day regardless their role so go with your gut for MOH! 

Post # 12
Member
36 posts
Newbee

@Knights2Be:  +1

Also, ask yourself who would be up to the task.  Sometimes thinking about who has enough energy or time to dedicate to being a Maid/Matron of Honor can make the decision for you.  

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