- 5 years ago
- Wedding: May 2013
Your advice would be greatly appreciated because I have been thinking about this for a few weeks and do not know what to do…I am going to try and make this short!!!
So I have two bridesmaids—1) my MOH-my sister 2) my best friend
My Maid/Matron of Honor (my sister) has really been upseting me throughout my whole engagement and wedding planning process. With the wedding in about 5 weeks I am really considering making my best friend the Maid/Matron of Honor and my sister just as one of my bridesmaids.
Here are my reasons why—and in no order of how everything has happened btw..sorry!
My sister has never once been excited for me to get married. Ever since we were little we always told each other we would be each others Maid/Matron of Honor. I think she secretly thought she would get married first becuase she is the older sister.
As a Maid/Matron of Honor she has not done one thing to help me out with the wedding. I have never expected her to go above and beyond to help out but she literally has not participated in one thing with this wedding. I think the only thing she really did was go with me to the cake tasting and that is because my mom forced her to go. My best friend on the other hand has been texting me constantly offering to help and pushing things in her schedule aside to help out—and keep in mind my best friend is a student with two jobs….my sister isnt in school any maybe works 25 hours a week.
She hasnt called me one time in the last year in a half and asked if she could help me with anything. My best friend planned the entire bachelorette party and spent over $500 on the party. She asked my sister to split the cost and she wouldnt. She said she didnt know why she needed to help her out. When it came to planning the party I told both of them I wanted it to be during spring break because I am a full time medical student and that was my only free time—and I had told them well in advance when I wanted to do it. Everything was all planned and a few days before my sister acted like she didnt even care to go. She even told me a week before that I never told her when I wanted it or else she would have planned it. She finally came out but complained the entire time. It was so bad I just took a cab back to the hotel.
Another thing is the bridal shower…my future sister in law offered to help throw the shower. My best friend offered to be a hostess and asked my sister if she would want to do it as well…she said no. My shower was this past sunday.. I texted my sister a few days before and she didnt even know the shower was going on. She claimed that she never got an invitation in the mail…my mom and best friend both told her about it and even RSVP’d for her.
I am not trying to be bridezilla either but she has been crazy about how she will look the day of. I told her just so everyone looks uniform that I wanted her and my best friend along with the junior bridesmaids that I would be getting them jewelry to wear the day of as their bm gifts. She said if she didnt like it then she would refuse to wear it.
I went to a few different dress shops before choosing the one! My best friend went to every single appointment with me..my sister went to one. I was happy she went when I chose my dress but she wasnt excited at all for me. She sat in the corner the whole time on her phone.
I told my sister I would need help the two days before the wedding to make all the favors. I asked her to not make any plans for those days. She told me she didnt know why she needed to help out with any of that stuff.
When my sister and I got into it the other day I told her that my best friend has been doing everything for me and that she might as well be the Maid/Matron of Honor..my sister said I could make her the Maid/Matron of Honor and didnt even care. Idk I guess she doesnt care… I would feel really honored if my friend or sister wanted me to be their Maid/Matron of Honor and I would be very touched unlike her….
Again I dont want to see like a bridezilla but every single bit of this process she makes about herself. It not only upsets me becuase she hasnt done one thing that a Maid/Matron of Honor is supposed to do but also I feel like she isnt even being a sister to me. Sorry this was much longer than expected…and I didnt even list the half of it.. I just feel like Im in a rut and dont know what to do. I feel like my best friend has deserved the title of Maid/Matron of Honor and I want to give that to her but I also have another problem with that….Im doing ombre shades of the dress…for instance my sister has the lightest shade of grey, my best friend has a darker shade and the two junior bridesmaids have even darker shades of gray. If I were to give the honor to my best friend the colors would be out of order…is that a big deal?