(Closed) MOH Insists I Invite the Man that Molested Me

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Is my (ex) MOH completely out of line?
    Yes, she's completely self-centered for asking that of you. : (359 votes)
    99 %
    She's just jealous because the spotlight isn't on her. : (2 votes)
    1 %
    You're being an insensitive b*tch for not forgiving him, : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2788 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    No. You are not being insensitive at all. It is inflaming that she would have the audacity to mention this, let alone insist it.

    Post # 4
    Member
    5977 posts
    Bee Keeper

    Holy insensitive MOH! You have every right NOT to invite her brother! In fact, I would absolutely disinvite her to the wedding! I can’t believe she’s trying to manipulate you like this! Blood or not, this girl clearly can’t see the light. It’s your wedding, and you can invite whoever you want. When it’s her wedding, she can invite whoever she wants. This guy molested you. He shouldn’t even be a consideration. Stand your ground and don’t let her talk to you like that!

    Post # 5
    Member
    2090 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I’m sorry you have to deal with her – she is completely out of line, and you shouldn’t even have to be asking this (or feel guilty about asking!). Do not feel guilty about not inviting the man who molested you!

    Even if he hadn’t molested you, you are not under any obligation to invite every single member of your entire extended family if you don’t want to. Given what has happened, you are certainly not under any obligation to invite him. Do not feel guilty about it. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    1940 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I would not continue this conversation with her.  It’s none of her concern who you choose to invite to your wedding.  If it comes up again, I would just say “I’m sorry, but I’ve made my decision” and leave it at that.  If she tries to continue the conversation after that, I would literally get up and just walk out of the room.  You will have to accept the fact though that she may choose to not come to the wedding and her parents may not come (and will probably use the excuse that they could only come if their son is invited).  I would stand your ground though!  

    Post # 7
    Member
    13096 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    You are completely in your right to refuse to invite him and I’m shocked how insensitive she is being.  I can’t imagine how hard it must be to see him at other family functions and, if it were me, there is NO WAY he would have anything to do with my wedding day.  Don’t give in to her – you don’t want to be uncomfortable on your wedding day.

    Post # 8
    Member
    10851 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Oh my gosh. I think that is simply the most awful thing I have ever read on here. Kick this chick to the curb and cut off contact with her and her brother ASAP. I can’t believe that her family thinks it’s some huge joke that this guy molested you and that they would expect you to want him around. I am absolutely baffled and horrified. You don’t need to have this insensitive self-centred b!tch around you as Maid/Matron of Honor, friend or family member, wedding day or any other day of the year.

    Post # 9
    Member
    2790 posts
    Sugar bee

    That woman is redokulous! You DO NOT have to invite him and you probably should not invite her either. She has no control over your guest list and she is being completely insensitive. I am soo sorry that you went through that but you sound like you are just trying to do the very best with a bad situation and I encourage you to do what makes you the most comfortable on your big day. You should absolutely not have to feel uncomfy on your wedding day. It should be the best day of your life.

    Post # 10
    Member
    4001 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    Wow, she might take the cake for harshest Maid/Matron of Honor.  I think you have a right to choose not to have him there, the end.  If she or her parents choose not to attend, that is on them.  Surround yourself with the people that are most important to you on that day, and you’ll have an amazing day- screw the rest!

    Post # 11
    Member
    1391 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    That is COMPLETELY one hundred percent out line. Regardless that he is autistic, it DOES NOT CHANGE what happened or how you feel about it. You have every right to stand your ground on this, if she continues to bring it up walk away. You deserve to be happy on your wedding day!

    Post # 12
    Member
    124 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    Hold you ground girl!! Do not invite him. This is your day, you choose what makes you and you FH happy. What he did was wrong and you do not need to continue to suffer.

    I’m so sorry for you to have to deal with such a self centered cousin.

    Post # 13
    Member
    2201 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    She’s a b*tch and that’s all there is to it. Stand your ground and don’t invite her or her brother – she obviously doesn’t believe you or respect your decisions or support you. Who needs that?!?

    Post # 14
    Member
    2066 posts
    Buzzing bee

    You are more than a year away from your wedding.  These guest list conversations will only get worse.  And your dealing with your Maid/Matron of Honor will only get more uncomfortable. 

    You can invite or not invite whoever you’d like to your wedding.  If she is so insensitive that she doesn’t see your side, then she’s never going to see your point of view, so stop wasting your breath talking to her about it. 

    The topic ‘MOH Insists I Invite the Man that Molested Me’ is closed to new replies.

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