- 8 years ago
- Wedding: September 2013
It was always assumed that my college roommate, who is my best friend of 10 years, would be my Maid of Honor. Despite the fact that we are both 6 years out of college, and that we keep in touch mostly through chatting online, our relationship has been maintained through our conversations and yearly visits. This past weekend, I planned a little get-together weekend for my seven bridesmaids, since not all of them knew each other. My mother helped me to coordinate and plan, and was generous enough to drive two of my out of town bridesmaids (including my Maid of Honor) with her to where I live. I hosted my mother and these two girls at my apartment for the weekend.
The weekend went wonderfully. The girls got along, we ordered the bridesmaid dresses, and went out several times to lovely restaurants. My mother paid for all the girls’ expenses for the weekend (except for their dresses). Most of the girls thanked my mother profusely, and even I have to say she went above and beyond what I even expected.
My maid of honor never thanked my mother at all. In fact, my maid of honor didn’t do anything this weekend but the bare minimum. Most of the time she played on her cell phone while the rest of the girls were talking and mingling. She never cleaned up after herself in my house, leaving her dirty dishes on the table, watching as my bridesmaid, mother, and I cleaned up. When my mother, bridesmaid and I looked up videography clips and other vendors online in the evenings, my maid of honor paid no attention, she even asked me to turn down the volume because she couldn’t hear the sound on the cell phone game she was playing.
I always knew that my maid of honor was not particularly a “girly girl,” but she was someone who enjoyed fine dining and fancy events, so I figured that even though she didn’t love the idea of weddings in general, I thought she would rise to the occasion and embrace being the maid of honor at her best friend’s wedding when she accepted the role.
Boy was I wrong. After the weekend, while I was checking Twitter, I noticed that she had posted updates through the whole bridal weekend, at least 20 tweets alone about how my mother was a horrible driver and stupid with directions, then posts about how the dresses were ugly, and how she thought she was ‘too intellectual’ for the rest of the bridal party. I was speechless — she knew I would see it! When I told her how hurt I was about what she wrote, she said that she was entitled to her feelings. When I told her that I was entitled to my feelings, too, and that I was embarrassed that she would make a joke out of her best friend’s weekend to her thousands of twitter followers (she works in social media, so a LOT of people, thousands even, follow her) she blocked me online.
I don’t know what to do in this situation, and what she said about my mother especially breaks my heart. I have known this girl for ten years, and even though I know that we have grown apart somewhat through the passage of time, I thought that we would pick up where we left off, as we had done every other time we saw each other. I do have a matron of honor who is doing most of the planning, so I am not worried about the wedding itself, but I don’t know if I want the maid of honor in the wedding at all anymore. I am thinking of sending her an email in a month or so if she does not contact me, saying that I realize that she is very busy, and that it may be best if she just takes on the role of a bridesmaid to lessen her responsibilities.
Any thoughts would be much appreciated!