(Closed) MoH insulted my wedding, friends, and my MOTHER behind my back… Help!

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 32
1161 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Unacceptable! After that drama she wouldn’t even be able to be a guest at my wedding. She sounds jealous, snobby, and rude. 

Post # 33
44 posts

Easy solution, dump her as a friend. She certainly doesn’t treat you like one. 

Post # 34
7679 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Rude!  No loss of a “friend” there.  Sorry.

Post # 35
5398 posts
Bee Keeper

I lost a best friend of 10 years also about a year ago. It’s really hard, but she was really showing me that she didn’t value out friendship, and I’m better than that. You are too. She shouldn’t have the honor of being in your wedding, or your life. 

Post # 36
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Ditch her. She doesn’t deserve to have friends.

Post # 37
520 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - Italiano\'s Humble

I have MAJOR ISSUES, with my mom. That being said, she’s MY mother. I will beat that azz, if SOMEONE ELSE talked crap about her.

Please don’t mention this to your mom. It would probably break her heart, knowing she did all that, and someone was not only unappreciative, but downright UGLY and making fun of her.

Personally, I’d delete her from my life, move on from the friendship, and be thankful for friends who are thankful for you. I wouldn’t invite her anywhere, in fact, I wouldn’t even send her an invite. I’d cut all contact, etc. I’ve had a similar sitch, but totally Not Wedding Related. That silly biatch thought coming to my HOME would get my attention. Oh it did, just not like she hoped!

She’s not a friend. In My Humble Opinion, there’s no talking this out, no heart to heart talks, etc. That is absolutely wild and outta line. I sure as hell hope she didn’t point out any names or references that would allow others to figure out it was you/your family/friends. That’s just ignorant, immature, etc. Punch her. Not much more mature, but I know I’D feel better FER SHER about it!!! LOL

Go be happy, with those who are happy with you. Buy your mom a gift, b/c she deserves it! Live, Laugh, Love, with those you love and love you back!

Post # 40
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

View original reply
@volesnug:  Good for you for having friends; they can be a great source of happiness. Especially when they’re real ones, instead of this person, who evidently isn’t. Go cultivate more of those real relationships you want to keep, and let her entertain her twitter followers with the story of how she acted like a toolbag and got kicked out of your wedding for her douchetastic behavior.

Post # 41
1732 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I normally think the whole “bridesmaid firing” thing is ridiculous and sideshow-like.

This is the one case in which it’s not. You should ask her to step down. That’s unforgivably rude and there’s no way that she didn’t INTEND for that to be the result.

Do you think she’s having some mental health problems? Jealousy issues?

Post # 42
185 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I know l am a little late but I couldn’t resist commenting.  I wouldn’t even give her a chance to explain herself and/or apologize.  I would tell her that you cannot have her in your bridal party anymore, cut off contact with her, and not invite her to the wedding.    

 I would feel differently if  a) she did not act interested in the weekend,  b) she had an attitude all weekend or  c) you overheard her on the phone saying she wasn’t having a good time.  But she took it about a million steps beyond that – she ridiculed you, your family and your friends to thousands of people on the internet.  And she doesn’t care!  This shows she does not value you or your friendship in the slightest.  She could not possibly think less of you.  It sounds like you have plenty of supportive, good people in your life already and you don’t need someone like her around! 

Post # 43
1460 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Go ahead and drop her from the wedding.  She was a part of some wonderful memories you’ll have forever but she’s not a part of your life any longer so hold on to the memories but let her go. 

I had to “break up” with a friend and I told her that I was happy she was there for the 20 years she was in my life and that I was glad we had those memories together and I would always cherish them.  However, our friendship was over.  I told her I wouldn’t ignore her should our paths cross again but I won’t be seeking her out.  You have to realize when things are over and let them be over before everything is spoiled. 

Good luck to you.

Post # 44
368 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I would kick her to the curb. Noone would be allowed to dis my mother, closest friends, or my wedding. She is not a true friend in my opinion. She is not a best friend and doesn’t deserve the title MOH.

Post # 45
181 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

She should not be in your bridal party, period. “this trip….” that really irks me. You don’t want anyone bringing you down on this one special day in your life. I’m not a confrontational person, so I think what I would do is like you were saying…wait 2-3 weeks to see if she reaches out to you at all and apologizes, if she does not, send her an email and say that due to her recent behavior and lack of sensitivity you feel she isn’t interested in being a bridesmaid and it would be best she just attends as a guest. Then, see if she responds…if its not a nice response, just another reason why she obviously doesn’t care enough about your friendship to try to salvage it. Sorry you are being thrown into this. But I agree with what you said earlier…maybe you’ve just grown into two different people now and that just happens in life as sad as it is. Hopefully she can accept not being in the wedding as her own doing and you can both walk out of this still cordial to not ruin the good times you did have in college. Good Luck! Start thinking of who would be a great Maid/Matron of Honor in your wedding! Don’t feel bad, she did this to herself. 

Post # 46
1163 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@volesnug:  I would get rid of her ASAP!!!! She has a toxic personality, and that is the last thing you want around you on the most important day of your life!!!! I don’t know if you paid for the dresses, but I would rather be out a few hundred dollars than to have someone there who is not kind, caring or grateful, as she clearly demonstrated during your weekend get-together.

Yes, you’ve known her for 10 years, and yes she was an important part of your college life, but that’s the past. As you embark on your future together with the Mister, make sure you surround yourself with positive people!!!

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