Post # 47
@volesnug: I am so sorry that your “best friend” has treated you this way.
Not only do I not think that she should be your Maid of honor but I don’t even think that you can consider her a friend. Especially after she was so rude to you over the weekend. And after your mom has done so much for her and she didn’t even have the courtasy to say a simple thank you. You have been out of college for many years now and it seems that she has a lot of growing up to do.
I understand that you are not worried about how your wedding will turn out but I do think that you should be concerned about how she treats you. I mean just out of all the rude thinks she has done to you and how she has mistreated your mother, do you really want those qualities in a friend? I sure know I don’t.
Post # 48
I would email her uninviting her totally. Do you want your entire wedding mocked online? Seems that this would be a real possibility, given what she’s already done. She’s obviously ‘too cool for the room.’ That seems to be much more important to her than your feelings.
Post # 49
@volesnug: That is unacceptable and unforgivable. I would NEVER forgive a friend for doing that. I would tell her that because of how hurtful she’s been, you’d rather not have her be a part of your wedding day. Wow. I’m sorry, I feel so bad for you.
Post # 50
I agree with the PPs. This girl needs to have her butt kicked to the curb.
Insulting your friends is bad enough, but your mother? And then defending her own behavious. UGH. I would have bitch slapped her.
The good news is that it sounds like the other Bridesmaids are great friends. You are lucky to have some great girls there to support you. Ditch the bitch and enjoy your true friends!
Post # 51
I would inform her she isn’t in my wedding party anymore…by tweet. That’s just rude.
Post # 52
Sounds like your mom is awesome, and your “friend” is not your friend. Insulting my family is one thing that my friendships do not survive.
Post # 53
There are very few cases I see where a Bridesmaid or Best Man needs to be kicked out, but…yeah, this one has got to go. From the wedding and from your life.
Post # 54
Block her from your wedding. What an arsehole.
Post # 55
Based on your response to @MR_rosworms:
it sounds like she’s kind of a miserable person. From your description, she reminds me of Lena Dunham’s character Hannah on Girls. I would ditch her and move on.
Post # 56
@volesnug: KICK THE BITCH OUT! What a nasty nasty person! I’m sorry her change of face surprised and hurt you, but moving forward I would cut her out of my life. She’s so nasty and malicious, it’s unbelievable! And passive aggressive to boot!
Post # 57
There would be no talking it out! Let her know now that she isn’t welcome at your wedding because you only want people there who love and support you.
Post # 58
Ugh, this makes me wonder if I’d be in your place if I hadn’t kicked an old HS friend to the curb 2 years ago. I, too, had ignored and made excuses for her crappy behavior until it finally hit the fan. I allowed the friendship to slowly fade away, and now she’s not even invited to the wedding. I can’t imagine if I had kept her around and made her a Bridesmaid or Best Man.
+ 1 million to everyone saying kick her butt to the curb.
Post # 59
That is flat out disgusting. She is a disgrace and being a Maid/Matron of Honor is an actual HONOR, one she does NOT deserve. Don’t let her in the wedding, she already told you how she feels about the other girls imagine what being at the wedding would be like and the photos. She will look diconnected and probably be on her cell phone playing games and talking more shit during the reception.
Post # 60
I think you handled this very calmly, but personally, if someone insulted me, my mother, and my friends that way, i would have kicked her A double S out of the wedding! I wouldn’t even invite her!
Post # 61
Thank you all for your posts and advice.
To update: I sent my MoH an email that was possibly gentler than she deserved, telling her that I thought it would be best if she was just a bridesmaid in the wedding, because the Maid of Honor role in a wedding requires a certain amount of time, energy, and dedication to the bride and the wedding events, and that I understood she was too busy to give that devotion right now.
The reality is probably that she is too jealous and not interested in weddings in general, but I did not want to get tit for tat on her.
I asked her not to post about this on twitter, or to blog about it. Since then, I have not gotten an email reply from her, but she made a post on her blog about how ‘absurd’ it is to spend significant amounts of money on weddings. I have told the rest of my bridal party that I have demoted her from the Maid of Honor role, due to some personal issues. My bridesmaids were not surprised, in fact, they were rather relieved, and they told me that it was very awkward to include her in the weekend when she was so uninterested in planning for the wedding events.
At this point, she will be sent an invitation to the bridal shower brunch (which I am sure she will have no hand in coordinating) and I have decided not to invite her to the bachelorette party, because I don’t want her to put a damper on my good time, which I am certain she will do by being pouty and argumentative about every aspect of the party. Mostly, I’m just going to see how things progress in the next eight months until the wedding.