Post # 1
Title says it all. My maid of honor is a wedding planner/coordinator. She’s great and so helpful as she knows a lot about weddings. I tend to assist her during some of her events.
Now that I am planning my wedding, I know she means well, but so far she really has been taking over. She’s buying certain vases that she thinks would be great just because I said it “might” be a great centerpiece idea, she’s telling me my flower choices are too minimal and won’t look great, she said the white resin chairs that come WITH the venue fee is too ugly and I should invest on chair rentals… When we went to a floral shop she was the one talking to the sales lady asking for specific types of flowers, she would nod at the sales lady without asking me. I know she means WELL but I am starting to get irritated :/
Post # 2
I would sit her down for a serious chat about how you know she does this a lot but you really want the day to be yours and would appreciate her letting you make it that way.
Post # 3
You just have to tell her to back off. If she truly is your best friend I would think you can have this conversation with her. Just say that you love her and appreciate what she’s trying to do but this is YOUR wedding and you want to plan it how you want. Also, stop inviting her to all these things. You don’t need her to come with you to pick out flowers or linens or whatever.
Post # 4
adventureready : Stop taking her with you and tell her you and your Fiance are making the decisions as well as managing the budget. She could cause you to go over your budget if you are not careful.
Post # 5
Is it your wedding or hers?
Speak up. Is she the one that’s going to pay for the chair rentals? No. Don’t put yourself in a bind; tell her you appreciate that she’s trying to help but you want to be the one making the decisions.
Post # 6
Why is she coming with you to flower/venue/etc meetings anyway? Maybe she thinks she is your wedding planner? I would if I was being dragged to all of these meetings!
Post # 7
I’m in this situation, except with my mother. And like PP have said, ask yourself is this her wedding or your’s and your FH?
Being newly engaged myself, I do have to step back and tell myself that my mom is just as excited as I am, so this could be the case with your friend.. she’s just excited for you! However, there is a nice way to go about telling her she needs to step back. With my mom, she would be all like “well you should do this and that and blah blah blah” and I would simply tell her “okay, FH and I will talk about it first”. Like I just always phrased things more nicely rather than be harsh (mostly because the situation didn’t warrant being completely mean).
I’m sure you’ll have plenty of times to be like “Good idea, but I want to ask FH first since its our wedding” nice subtle hints like that should work. If it doesn’t.. then you may need to be harsher.
Post # 8
I have never once heard guests complain about chairs being ugly, surely any reasonable guest only wants a comfortable chair, it seems an unnecessary expense and hassle to rent chairs when the venue provides them for free. So your Maid/Matron of Honor is wanting you to spend unnecessary extra expense for her vision of your wedding. And she took over your florist appointment and wasn’t even consulting you on what you wanted. These are examples of pushiness, not helpfulness. Your Maid/Matron of Honor may mean well, or she may be trying to impress you with her wedding planning savvy- but you need to nip this in the bud asap. I’d be nice but very firm in letting her know that you will be making your own decisions. And for things like florists and cakes and photographers etc, take your Fiance instead of her.
Post # 9
Don’t invite her to these appointment. If she says she is planning to get so n so , say u d like to think about it and do what u like. She ll get the message.
Post # 10
Tell her to back down, that you appriciate your help, but it’s taking the fun out of planning. At that point I would just stop inviting her to any of the appointments.
Post # 11
Tell her just that; you know she means well, you appreciate her help, but it’s stopped feeling like your wedding so please would she take a step back so you can arrange your own wedding.
Post # 12
She’s treating you like a client, not like a friend. And I’m assuming you don’t want to be treated like a client. Tell her (kindly) to back off, and tell her you want her help as a friend, not a wedding planner.