(Closed) MOH is driving me crazy!

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
5183 posts
Bee Keeper

@Snow2bunny: omg! a couple months ago, i was in your exact same position. Our friendship ended and things have been better ever since. Don’t get me wrong, I know she is a good person and that I have my share of drama.. but our friendship was very one sided as well and I got really tired of it. I am glad it ended.. not happy that she got hurt in the process.. but glad that its over. DO you think you would be ok with the end of your friendship? I think that is the more important question than being without a Maid/Matron of Honor

Post # 5
Member
5183 posts
Bee Keeper

@Snow2bunny: Actually I didn’t .. she saw I posted something on WB about her (even though I did’t mention any names) and she was hurt/pissed… and TEXTED me some stuff about how I was immature. I planned on talking to her the next time she did something that was  hurtful/annoying but this all happened before I had the chance. I was actually waiting for something else to happen.. and then I was going to talk to her right then and there about what she just did and how it affects me. I didn’t want to rehash past things because I didn’t want her to feel like I was keeping tabs of things she did, you know? Her ME ME ME attitude really started to affect me.. and to be completely honest.. IDK when it started. But I started noticing it more and more right after my engagment. She used to be super supportive towards me as well but towards the end, it was like… really selfish and bitter and I couldn’t understand where it was coming from. I really held her close to my heart and the text she sent kinda threw stuff in my face. I didn’t appreciate that and knew the friendship was TOTALLY over at that point. I really had to ask myself in the end…was it more important to have her as a friend.. or get to toxins out of my life. and then it was an easy answer.

Post # 7
Member
5183 posts
Bee Keeper

@Snow2bunny: anytime, let me know how it goes with her. She was also one of my MOHs in my wedding btw.. 

Post # 8
Member
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

yesterday one of my bridesmaids told me she didn’t want to be in my wedding party

(see post HERE )

unlike your situation, she chose to ‘step down’ and I do hope our friendship survives this, even though I’m very hurt and confused right now.  in your case i think it’s hard to tell someone you don’t want them involved anymore, but in the end it will be better. I didn’t choose a Maid/Matron of Honor btw, and I don’t think you NEED one, as long as your BMs are behind you 100% and can work well together.

my point is, these things happen and even though they are hard, maybe it’s a blessing in disguise.

That’s what I’m telling myself anyway, to get over this! good luck…

Post # 9
Member
4 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I thought I was the only one on the planet having this sort of issue with my Maid/Matron of Honor. Before the engagement, we were the best of friends. I’m not laying blame all on that, but it just seems as though since she was put in the Maid/Matron of Honor role its all about her. Everything from the dresses to what type of flowers she wants to carry. Besides that everytime I see her, it’s ALWAYS something. And it’s ALWAYS negative. Our wedding is now only 4 months away and I just keep thinking, “if i can just keep my cool a little longer maybe she’ll go back to being normal after the wedding?” I just don’t know. The other part of me just wants to tell her off mainly and be done.

Post # 13
Member
4 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@Snow2bunny:  Update! She has dropped out, and I am so thankful for it. It all came to a head between her and two of the bridesmaids over shower planning. She became insulting to them and me, it was really bad. I told her she really needed to think about whether she wanted to be in the wedding and be the Maid/Matron of Honor. I told her if she wanted to then I’d need her to be supportive of my decisions, get along with the rest of the bridal party and not try to turn everything into a competion or a drama fest. She said she’d think about it. Took her a week to figure out if she could be nice to people….I think its for the best. Thank you for the advice.

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