- 7 years ago
- Wedding: May 2012
My friend is getting married on Nov. 11 and I’m her maid of honor. Her daugher is her bridesmaid.
Because this is her fourth marriage, she is not wearing a traditional white dress; rather, she’s wearing a beautiful teal MOB dress. She asked me come to her final fitting, and I put it on my calendar with every intention of being there to carry out my Maid/Matron of Honor duties (I was there when she tried on and purchased her gown, as well when she had her first fitting).
However, my fiance (we’re getting married in May) informed me that he screwed up his father’s birthday on the calendar in our kitchen and that it was on the same date as my friend’s final fitting. It’s worth mentioning that my fiance’s family takes birthdays and holidays VERY seriously (something I’ve mentioned to my friend in the past, actually). Therefore, when I told my fiance that I had my friend’s dresss fitting on my calendar, he laid a huge guilt trip on me and we wound up having a bit of an ugly spat over it. I wound up caving in and called her to let her know that I would be unable to go to the fitting.
She was very perturbed, but I didn’t feel as if I had much of a choice in the matter. Either way, I was going to disappoint someone. Her main concern was what to do with her dress because she lives with her fiance and doesn’t trust him not to peek at the dress. I told her that she could ask the seamstress to hold the dress and I’d pick it up the following day. Apparently, that just wouldn’t work and she said abruptly, “That won’t work. I’ll figure something out.”
The evening of her fitting, while I was in the shower getting ready for dinner with my fiance’s parents, she left me a voice mail in an angry panic because I had her shoes (neither one of us had thought about needing the shoes for the final fitting or I would have dropped them off at the shop prior to her appointment). I immediately called her back but she was unable to answer, so I sent her a text telling her the heel height of the shoes and called the salon so they could go back to the seamstress to tell her. The salon has plenty of shoes for sale, so I knew it would be no problem getting her a shoe at the right height for the purpose of the fitting.
The following day, I called her to see how it went and she was very curt and short with me.
Me: “How did the fitting go?”
Me: “OK…did you get my message about the shoes?”
Me: “Are you upset with me because I couldn’t come to the fitting?”
Her: “Ummm….I’m not ready to talk about that right now.”
Me: “OK. Well, give me a call whenever you’re ready.”
Her: “OK. Bye.”
This conversation took place four days ago and I haven’t heard from her since. I’m planning a girls’ night out for her this Saturday, complete with 15 of her closest girlfriends at a very expensive restaurant (and I’m buying her meal and all her drinks), games, prizes and live music and dancing afterward. It would be really nice if the air on this were cleared before this event because as it stands right, I can’t say I’m feeling very generous.
Yeah, I know it sucked I couldn’t be there and I guess I could have pissed off my fiance and his family by insisting that I honor my Maid/Matron of Honor obligations. I think what bothers me is that I’m a bride myself, and I can’t imagine getting so angry over this. Granted, my personality is very, very different from hers, but it’s pretty much unanimous among the people I’ve shared this with that I would have been more understanding.
So my question….should I call her to try to get this straightened out or wait for her to contact me? What if she doesn’t speak to me until the day of the event I’m planning?
Any insight would be greatly appreciated.