Post # 1
So Fiance and I were engaged December 25 ’08. I asked my Maid/Matron of Honor to be my Maid/Matron of Honor shortly after. She accepted graciously even though she goes to school 1000 miles away from me. Now I just found out that her sister just got engaged and her wedding is set to be 2 months before ours. She is also her sisters Maid/Matron of Honor. Im not sure what I should do. I dont want her to be so stressed out from her sisters wedding that she wants nothing to do with mine or vice versa. Should I ask someone else to do it, maybe someone closer (distance) to us? We’ve been friends since the 3rd grade and I don’t want to hurt her feelings but she hasn’t even called me to ask if I need her help since the summer.? HELP!?
Post # 3
Wow, that’s a tough one! I would say, talk to her about your expectations before you think about “demoting” her – what do you expect her to do, and what does she expect to be ABLE to do, especially being so far away! Good luck!!
Post # 4
2 months? I don’t think it’s a big deal…let her know you know she has lots of responsibilities with her sister’s wedding and that you’ll love if she can make stuff when she can and you’ll try to accomodate schedules whenever possible. Just like anything, right? You can do a shower a month or 6 weeks before your wedding….I don’t see TOO many major road bumps and conflicts that can’t be avoided. After all, if she’s the Maid/Matron of Honor, she’ll have a hand in planning the showers and stuff, right? I think you’ll be fine, i really don’t think you have to worry about it yet. And if she can’t make something, she can’t. Life doesn’t end. She’ll still be there on your big day =]
Post # 5
As long as her sister’s wedding isn’t the same day as yours, you should be fine. I am confused as to why she would be so stressed about her sister’s wedding that she can’t be in yours?
Post # 6
I think the best thing to do is to openly discuss with her what she can realistically do. Also, be creative – maybe you can find a way to make it work! My Maid/Matron of Honor was living in Shanghai during the first 1/2 of my engagement and pregnant when she finally did move state-side. Needless to say, she was unable to do many of the traditional Maid/Matron of Honor duties. HOwever, I had a local friend who is a whiz at planning weddings! But, she’s been in a ton and has no desire to don another bridesmaid dress. SHe was my “wedding planner” and fulfilled many of the traditional duties. My Maid/Matron of Honor wasn’t involved in a lot of the pre-wedding stuff but was a gem the day of. She did an amazing job of calming my nerves! ANd it was awesome to know the other friend was handling everything behind the scenes! If your Maid/Matron of Honor can still afford the flight, maybe you can work something out where someone else can help you with prewedding stuff. Worked great for me!
Post # 7
Thanks guys. I guess I’m just being a little crazy.
Post # 8
Have you talked to your friend about it or has she said anything that makes you think its too much for her? I think 2 months apart is a good cushion and it should be fine! I had my wedding June 20th, was a Maid/Matron of Honor August 29 and a Bridesmaid or Best Man on October 10 and then October 24. It will all work out!
Post # 9
2 months is lots of time and unless your friend says something about being able to do both, I wouldn’t worry at all. I was Bridesmaid or Best Man in two weddings 5 weeks apart earlier this year and it was absolutely fine.
Post # 10
Talk to her and see if she’s up to it! If she’s into weddings (and wont’ be in school because of summer) she should be able to do both. Just think of 27 dresses & the opening scene when she’s the Maid/Matron of Honor for 2 weddings the same night. She’ll be fine.