(Closed) MOH is Paying Zilch for Bachelorette!!!

posted 5 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
8879 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

@baletrina:  as an invited guest to  bachelorette parties, i have always been asked to pay for my share of the festivities. (splitting the limo, paying my share for the erotic dance instructor, etc.)

my Maid/Matron of Honor is in the process of planning mine and i will have no problem paying my own way. she is giving different options for everyone due to budgets and they can decide which activities they want to participate in.

 

 

Post # 4
Member
2297 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

i’ve always been asked to chip in for my share of costs as an invited guest to bachelorette parties. 

 

simply invite the ladies and advise them that they can choose their own spa treatment, meal etc (and pay for them) and that if they’d like to treat the bride to a drink (wink, wink) later at the lounge/club that would be lovely. 

i’m sure the guests will cover their own costs and pitch in for the bride. 

Post # 5
Member
989 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

This is sort of part and parcel of being in bridal parties.  Not everyone pulls their own weight and someone usually gets saddled with extra costs.  In the bridal parties I’ve been a part of, that person usually ends up being me, which is why I’m making my sister’s wedding this summer my last one as a Bridesmaid or Best Man.

But as for the matter at hand, there’s really not much you can do.  If she can’t afford to give more, she can’t afford to give more.  Your options are to scale back the bachelorette to what you and the other ladies (including guests) are comfortable paying, or pick up the slack. 

Post # 6
Member
601 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@baletrina:  for a bachelorette/hen, everyone who is coming is supposed to pay for themselves to attend, plus chip in a little on top for the bride – at least thats how it works here…

Post # 7
Member
1720 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I had to pay for my own dinner at my Bach party, hang my own decorations, and make my own cake because my Maid/Matron of Honor wouldn’t.

Post # 8
Member
5423 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2012

The most recent bachelorette parties I attended each gal paid for themselves plus a little extra so the bride wouldnt have to pay for herself.  Thats pretty common.

Post # 9
Member
855 posts
Busy bee

@baletrina:  No one should be forced to take an extra job to pay for a bachelorette party. That is unbelieveable. You shouldn’t be doing it and you definitely shouldn’t expect anyone else to do the same.

If she can’t afford it, all the BMs need to sit down with the bride and figure out an alternative. It’s just a party – it shouldn’t be worth stressing about. Surely the bride can understand that?!

And if the bride has an issue with not having the best bachelorette party possible, then maybe she can help chip in a bit?

Either way, this is totally not the MOH’s fault. She’s being sensible and stating that she cannot afford it.

Post # 10
Member
3725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@peonyinlove: You’ve got that right! I’ve always paid my own way and frankly, I expect too!

 

@baletrina: I don’t think anyone should have to pick up an extra job so they can afford to be in a wedding. Maybe the bride needs to lower her expectations if her bridal party can’t swing it all. Sounds like everyone is overextending themselves a bit.

I for one and MORE than prepared to kick in some cash so we can do a fun bachelorette evening. I don’t want anyone going broke for a good time.

Post # 12
Member
3725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@baletrina:  I’m glad you have good support in the ranks! Good luck!

Post # 13
Member
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@ajillity81:  I agree, as a guest, I’ve always paid my own way. I don’t want my BMs to eat the cost (most are travelling to come to the wedding), so I plan to try to pay for my way as much as possible.

Post # 14
Member
360 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

If she is going to partake in activities, then she should be paying her share of the cost. If you guys had agreed previously to split the bride’s cost amongst everyone, then she should pay that too. 

If she can’t afford it, then she should’ve been up front before the planning, and she shouldn’t be going. I will add that I find it to be TOTALLY ridiculous that people nowadays think it’s anexpected/necessary duty of a bridesmaid to shell out lots of cash for all of these different events just because they agreed to be in a wedding. You buy a dress and accessories, travel/hotel, present, and then you go out for a night of bar hopping and buy your bride a few drinks to celebrate with her! 

Post # 15
Member
4518 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I would scale down the cost of the parties to ewhat you’re all cmfortable paying. None of this stuff is required, and no one should be stressed financially over it. 

Post # 16
Member
2428 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

@baletrina:  Unforseen expenses pop up.  Maybe, like you, she started saving for her bridesmaids duties and something came up and she truly can not afford the extra expense.  Or maybe the whole experience ended up costing way more than she expected. 

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