Post # 1
So my sister and matron of honor recently found out that she is preggers. Of course I am SUPER excited for her and thrilled to be an aunt, but she plans to announce her pregnancy the week of my wedding. (She lives in another state and wants to tell our dad and extended family in person, and my “wedding week” is the next time she’ll be in town.) I’m not really upset about this b/c I understand her perspective, but I suppose I am just a smidge annoyed. A lot of our family won’t be in town until the wedding day, so they will find out her news at my wedding. Am I total bridezilla that this is annoying me a little bit? Have any of you been in similar situations???
Post # 3
Eek. You should suggest to her to announce it the day after the wedding.
Post # 4
Girl I’d be annoyed too! 😀 I think it only becomes "Bride-zilla" like if you confront her about it! 🙂
I think I’d ask her if she would like to announce it at the wedding AFTER all of the festivities… LOL Actually…thinking about it I’d rather her tell everyone as far before the actual ceremony as she can. You said you’re having a "wedding week" so could she tell everyone on Monday (assuming your wedding is on Friday or Saturday). 🙂 Good luck!
Post # 5
I think as long as she is not announcing it AT your wedding that it would be ok. Are people coming in earlier that she can tell and wait to tell the rest of the people after the wedding?
Post # 6
I can understand why you would be a little irked; your wedding is your chance to be the center of attention, and her exciting news poses the possibility of taking a little bit of the spotlight away from you. (That would be my feeling, anyway!) But don’t forget that everyone will be at the wedding for YOU, your sister included. She may be excited with her own news as well, but it won’t make your wedding any less special, or change the fact that your family is there to celebrate you. 🙂
Post # 7
Mmm, coming from the perspective of my family, I think it’s understandable to be annoyed. I can understand not telling anyone too early. That’s normal. but she can’t wait until after the wedding? What’s a couple of days?
See in my family, you don’t need a big family gathering to announce you’re pregnant. The only "to do" is when you have the baby shower. (Not that people aren’t happy for you.) I don’t know if she’s looking for an audience. But, in my family, it’s pretty much standard to announce it to your parents. Then they tell the entire family. Again not a big song and dance.
I can see why it feels a bit thunder stealing. Is this the first grandchild for your parents?
Post # 8
I’m not really having an official "wedding week," but a few of my friends and relatives are coming into town early to help with last minute preparations (my sister is one of them). When I talked to my fiance about this, he jokingly suggested that I "accidentally" tell one of the family gossips that my sister is preggers so that there will be nothing for her to announce once she gets to town! 🙂 Of course I would never do that, but I may ask her when she plans to tell everybody…at least that way I will know what to expect.
Post # 9
People will congratulate her, but I’m sure your wedding will be the bigger deal! It’s not like she’s ready to pop or anything. And I think people will realize that it’s YOUR wedding day, not her baby announcement day, no matter when she makes it!
If it really does bother you, and it sounds like it does, just tell her that you don’t want your thunder stolen but that you’re super excited for her and would she mind picking a better day (ie a day you’d prefer) that she tell everyone so that you don’t feel overshadowed by the "Cute wittle baby to come" because you know how peopel are about babies. Flatter her a little =]
Post # 10
As someone who just made this same announcement (not at a wedding, but you know…) AND as someone who had her brand new 4-day old, first grandchild on both sides, niece, etc, etc at her wedding – believe me, nothing is going to take the focus off of you. While the excitement over the announcement may be big, it only takes a minute before most people move on. There are congratulations and hugs and all, but it isn’t like she’s showing up with a new baby. I was feeling the same way you are about the new niece (when the wedding was being planned and I knew the due date was the same day as my wedding), but even a brand new baby didn’t change everyone’s focus for very long. Take a deep breath and know that it will all be alright – and you aren’t a bridezilla – you have just been planning this day for a long time and you want it to go right. Don’t worry. It will.
Post # 11
Who takes a 4 day old baby to a wedding?!?! Ack, germ city! I’d be scared to take mine out of the house! Good to know it didn’t ruin your day/wedding at all though!
My FI’s sister is like 8 months preggers at our wedding and IN our wedding. Can’t miss her! She’s so tiny, then stands sideways and it’s like "bam" preggo belly. I can’t imagine people will be all clamboring to congratulate her (on her second) but not gonna lie, I kinda wanna be "the big deal" that day and I’m sure I still will be. I figure people can congratulate her after or before they’ve congratulated me, lol. It’s not like your family will be talking to you the ENTIRE night. I think your’e good =].
Post # 12
gji7, thanks for that. My sister (MOH) is due 6 days after our wedding. I haven’t let it bother me too much b/c I’m also excited, but sometimes it does. Especially last week, I think. Our uncle passed away and I went back home to be with her (she was in a bad place, and I wanted to be near family). Tons of family friends came over and every single one spent like 20 minutes asking her about her pregnancy and how hard it must be right now etc and many did not even ask me a thing about getting married at all. And no one, not even family or friends who are like family, asked me how I was doing. Was i upset about losing my uncle? Was it hard to have so many wedding plans looming?
I think come our wedding things will be different…but maybe not. I think my main point is that it’s perfectly okay to be annoyed, but there’s not much you can do about it. In the end I think your wedding day will be about you…and having news of a new family member will just make it that much more of a joyful occasion.
Post # 13
@ejs4y8: Well, my brother and sister-in-law did. My brother was my man-of-honor and the three of them walked down the aisle together – I wouldn’t give up those pictures for anything! Re: germ city – we are in Montana, the wedding was outside and they were well prepared (baby came out for short time periods, people had to wash their hands – even me, etc, etc)…they had the doctors permission.
@fizicsGirl: I think pregnancy (especially once you are showing) is just so "out there" that everyone thinks of it immediately and has a somewhat relatable story. Most people, unless they are planning or have just planned a wedding don’t think about how emotional it can be (fighting over guest lists, etc) and how much stuff you are actually dealing with. Unless you were wearing your veil to the funeral, they probably didn’t think about it. Thats why we all come to communities like this where everyone gets it! At least you don’t have to worry about random people touching your stomach like they think they own it at the wedding!!!
Post # 14
gji7, I know you’re right. It just bugged b/c no one even asked me/comforted me about losing my uncle (forget about wedding stuff). Anyway, did not want to hijack this thread.
Just wanted to say to linzella that it’s totally okay to be a bit annoyed…even if you’re also happy for your sister you can have mixed feelings about her announcing her pregnancy. We’re here for you…
Post # 15
Honestly, I would suck it up and be happy for her. I mean… really you get a wedding day, not a wedding week. If I was preggo I would definitely take advantage of telling everyone I love in person. I get why you are annoyed but I would let that be a personal annoyance and not say anything.
Post # 16
@GaBGal: I am a HUGE Sex and the City fan, and your post made me think of the episode when it’s Charlotte’s wedding and Carrie is thinking about telling Aiden that she’s been cheating. Anyway, I looked up the quote so that I would get it right….
Charlotte: Carrie, you’re right, you have to tell him. But not before the wedding. It’s supposed to be my week.
Miranda: It’s your day. You get a day. Not a week.
I think you (and SATC) are right. I get a wedding DAY, so if my sister announces her big news earlier in the week, it’s no biggie! It will just be one more positive thing happening in my family that week. THANKS SO MUCH to everyone for their support! I feel 100% better about this than I did earlier today!