(Closed) MOH issue

posted 12 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
413 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

It sounds like she isn’t going to be somebody you can count on. Sorry, That being said, are there others who you can count on?

Post # 4
3340 posts
Sugar bee

Firing a Maid/Matron of Honor is a friendship killer.  Be VERY aware of that, once it’s done, so is your friendship.  You still want her in the wedding.  Check.  She wants to be in the wedding.  Check check.  But you both realize that the role of Maid/Matron of Honor is WAY over her head right now and she is too busy.  Sounds like you need to ask one of your sisters to step up as Maid/Matron of Honor, and simply ask your friend to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man since she doesn’t have the time devoted to being a Maid/Matron of Honor.  Also, you may want to outline what you expect of your Maid/Matron of Honor, because she may not know her duties.  Give her the chance to support you, but don’t kick her out. 

Post # 5
1652 posts
Bumble bee

 Well you said you’d like her to be in the wedding, but not as Maid/Matron of Honor anymore.  That sounds OK to me.  You’re not completely kicking her out.  Maybe you can pose it as, since she admitted she would be overwhelmed to do cwertain Maid/Matron of Honor duties like the shower,m you’d still love to have her be a Bridesmaid or Best Man.  And your sisters would be more than happy to take on the extra duties.

Good luck.

Post # 6
755 posts
Busy bee

totally agree with Tanya123.

Post # 8
13 posts
  • Wedding: July 2010

Don’t kick her out; make it her idea that it would be best for her to not be the Maid/Matron of Honor.  Saying ‘yes’ to the role means taking on some serious tasks.  Give her an out to be just a bridesmaid. 

Post # 10
22 posts
  • Wedding: October 2010

I won’t send an email I would talk to her either in person or over the phone.  Emails are cold when you are delivering news the other person doesn’t want to hear.  If she can’t make time for a call, then you may have to resort to an email or text.

Good Luck

Post # 11
73 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2011 - Oxon Hill Manor

I’d be really careful about firing your Maid/Matron of Honor. I once heard someone say Weddings and Funerals bring out the worst in people and I think it’s a sensitive time for you! You want things and people to be a certain way and you’re going to be super sensitive if they’re not.

I would try to talk to her about it more before you decide not to have her in the wedding. Explain how you feel (not the pissed part, just call it concern) and see if you guys can’t mend bridges.

I think an email would be way to risky because she’s not going to be able to hear how your saying it… so the interpretation could get screwy. I would give it some time and if she still wants to be in the wedding, I’d stick with your original decision of asking her. I think us brides get ourselves in trouble when we start second guessing our decisions…

Good luck!

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