Post # 1
My Maid/Matron of Honor has been my best friend for about 8 years. She lives in Florida and I live in Canada so I knew from the beginning she wouldn’t play the role a regular Maid/Matron of Honor would. I was OK with that and made sure with her that she would be OK with everything, being so far away. She assured me she would. In December she started a new job (first fulltime one out of college) and I asked again if she was Ok with everything, since I knew she was tight on cash. She assured me yes.
Now, my wedding is just over 4 months away and she still hasn’t gone dress shopping. I was late on the ball, but sent her the colour and designer 6 weeks ago when we ordered the other 2. I wish I could go shop with her and was going to try but just don’t have the money. I feel bad she has to go alone, but one of my other bridesmaids is down in her area now (they know eachother somewhat) so they could go together. I am starting to panic since the dress takes 12-14 weeks to come in!
Then, I found out my shower was going to be in March and with 2 of my 3 girls in Florida (the other is my FSIL and will be at the shower) I was feeling kinda bummed. I offered to fly her up here and she said she couldn’t come because her parents are in town until a few days before… I know she won’t be able to make it to any type of bachelorette party as she is only flying in a day before the wedding, and I imagine I will end up paying for that. She is staying at my parents house (with me) while here so will have her dress and hair to pay for, and that will be about it for her involvement.
I knew she wouldn’t be very involved from the beginning, I guess I just didn’t realize to what extent. I’m kind of wishing I’d chosen one of the other girls as my Maid/Matron of Honor, despite her being my best friend. Thanks for letting me vent!
Post # 3
I’m kinda starting to wonder myself if I shouldn’t have picked somebody else, but that’s mostly because I have a MAN of honor and I don’t think Fiance really wants him to help me get ready lol
Post # 4
My Maid/Matron of Honor is in Florida too and I’m in CA. I kinda of feel that too. I had originally wanted to pick our other friend to be my Maid/Matron of Honor ’cause she lived closer to me but I didn’t. My Maid/Matron of Honor in Florida and I had talked a long time ago in college and had said that since we didn’t have sisters that we’d be each other’s Maid/Matron of Honor. when she got married in January, she asked me to be her Maid/Matron of Honor so I kept my word and picked her to be my Maid/Matron of Honor. I am excited that she’s my Maid/Matron of Honor but like you said we’re very limited on what we can do together.
Post # 5
well… is she at least excited about the wedding? do you talk to her about it? does she ask questions? it’s not really her fault that she can’t afford to come for these things, and i don’t think it’s fair to really judge how good of a moh she’ll be until after the wedding (unless she has no interest now). she might come to your wedding and do some amazing things for you and than you’ll think thank god i chose her! my moh is out of state too, but she’s been able to fly in or fly me out for important events. we also talk regularly about the wedding and she’s always asking questions about where she needs to be when, what she needs to do, etc, which helps me to know that i won’t need to stress on wedding day because she’ll have things taken care of. she asked me the other day what restaurants are around the hotel so she will be able to pick up lunch for us because it’s important that i’m fed. she even called me one day from anthropologie after she bought hair clips/headbands for her and the bridesmaids and a hair flower for me! so it is possible to do nice things from afar.