MemberSo, my sister and maid of honor has a huge tatoo. A large bat wing bleeding on each shoulder. I HATE it. I am getting married in a catholic church, and I feel the tatoo is innapropriate. I nicely asked her to wear either a bolero or a shawl for mass. She said I am trying to change who she is, am I wrong? She is my only bridesmaid, so she will not look different from anyone else. Opinions please…
MemberI don’t blame you for asking her to cover it. Maybe you could compromise and let her take it off for the reception? I wouldn’t want the thing that stuck out most in my pics to be bleeding bat wings, either :).
MemberTechnically you’re supposed to cover your knees and shoulders in church so you are within your rights to ask her to cover up. Making that argument means you have to cover up too though
MemberI dont think its too much to ask for since it will just be covered for mass.
Member@LGenz:I told her she could take off the cover up after mass, she just seems very offended. She is a lot younger than me, and doesn’t get that it’s not appropriate. I let her pick her own dress, hair style…everything. I told her this is basically the only really important issue to me. It’s my day…and it’s all I’m asking.
MemberI agree with @LGenz: If she covers up, you should too.
If someone had horribly ugly glasses, would you ask them to wear different ones or contacts? Or if they were really ugly would you ask them to stand in back? I tend to agree with your sister. You asked her and chose the dresses knowing she had the tatoo (assuming it isnt recently done).
MemberI don’t think you’re unreasonable to ask that at all. Could you maybe even check with your photographer to see if photoshopping it out is an option? Then, you could tell her that’s your plan, and that way she has a choice.
Member@lefeymw:she knew this well before she picker her dress
MemberJust tell her that you’re not trying to change her, but that your wedding day is supposed to be about you and that you want to be the one who stands out.
MemberI agree with your sister. You knew she had this when you asked her and if covering it wasn’t part of the discussion about the dress then honestly I don’t think it’s fair to expect her to cover it now.
Member@erinleigh1:Thanks girls, I appreciate the opinions…no bleeding bat wings in church lol I guess I am just old fashioned:)
MemberMaybe you can ask her again but put the emphasis on the style you’re going for, or say its because you found a really cute one that you think wil go perfectly with your theme. I know it sounds a little sneaky, but I think as long as you make it seem that you not doing it because of her tattoo it might work.
MemberWhy didn’t you pick a dress that had her whole back covered? That would have taken care of it. But the other thing is .. PP are correct knees and shoulders are supposed to be covered in church.
Member@HisIrishPrincess:I wanted to let her pick her own dress, and there are not may styles that cover the shoulder blades. I very nicely told her months ago she would need to cover up for mass, with either a bolero or shawl. She is just making an issue of it now.
Member@DiyBlondie: If she isn’t religious then she isn’t going to be real concerned with the “knees and shoulders” rule. I don’t imagine she’s trying to be difficult just to do it but that it might be on principle for her and that her tattoo means something to her whether you find it inappropriate for mass or not. I would feel the exact same way. There probably isn’t going to be a real easy fix for this. Good Luck!
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