Post # 1
Member
367 posts
Helper bee
Well so I had all this drama with picking BMs (other posts). I will ask another friend to “fill in” so Fiance and I have equal number of our friends, and so nobody can tell me I should have somebody I do not want to.
Anyways..
I have a best friend wh I known for a year and a half (I moved to a new area so I have to make all new friends) and I asked her to be my Maid/Matron of Honor.
She is actively tryig to get preggers and her due date could be close to my wedding (yet she is not pregnant yet). Se was very excited that I asked her and I told her “You don’t have to answer right away”/and said “I’ll talk with my husband”. I know asking somebdoy to be a Maid/Matron of Honor is asking for a big committment.. but I was still a bit hurt she did not answer right away. I know she has other best frinds, yet she is my best friend. Well, now I jut hope she will say YES. Otherwise, I want her to be my bridesmaid!
Post # 3
Member
351 posts
Helper bee
@inspiration86: I think that she is trying to be respectful. Since she is trying to concieve, she may be waiting to respond to your question until she knows if she can be 100% there for you as a Maid/Matron of Honor.
Post # 4
Member
839 posts
Busy bee
@inspiration86: I think she’s also trying to be fair to her husband since he is also involved in her plans to have a baby soon. I don’t think I would have given an answer right away if I had something like that going on in my life too. I know it’s not the answer you wanted from her, but try not to take it too personally. It sounds like she wants to be there for you but isn’t sure that she can yet.
Post # 5
Member
367 posts
Helper bee
Ok, true.. but isn’t it better to say YES I want to be your Maid/Matron of Honor .. and IF she get preggers, then she will simply drop out if the due date is around my wedding. Right?
Post # 6
Member
351 posts
Helper bee
@inspiration86: I have read many stories on the bee about bridesmaids/MOH who had to drop out due to being pregnant, and the bride has almost always been upset that the friend agreed to it and then had to drop out close to the wedding when the bride is already stressing out about other things wedding related.
Post # 7
Member
3755 posts
Honey bee
@inspiration86: No, it is not. If you are actively trying to get pregnant, it’s stressful and then being pregnant is hard work. Accepting an Maid/Matron of Honor position knowing that you’re trying to conceive is taking on a lot. She’s being responsible by saying let me think about it.
Post # 8
Member
3015 posts
Sugar bee
She may have also needed to talk to her husband because of the financial responsibilities of a Maid/Matron of Honor as well since they probably share finances and need to save for the baby. Rather than be insulted, be glad she’s taking the (potential) responsibility seriously.
Post # 9
Member
535 posts
Busy bee
First off, why would she have to drop out if she got pregnant? If her due date is near the wedding, I could see her not being able to be in the wedding, but just because she’s pregnant doesn’t mean she can’t be a bridesmaid. And second, I could see her saying she needed to talk to her husband because of the expense involved. And if they’re trying to conceive, they may be on an even tighter budget. If I were to be asked to be a bridesmaid right now (even without a wedding of my own to plan), I would have to consider it carefully. I’d much rather say no from the start rather than say yes and back out later.
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