- 12 years ago
- Wedding: October 2009
Basically, who gets to be MOH? Your closest dearest friend or the one who helps with the planning the most such as hosts bridal shower? I didn’t grow up in the US, and I don’t quite know the nuances of what Maid/Matron of Honor signifies.
I want my closest dearest friend who has shared in all of my relationship ups and downs to be by my side when I’m taking vows. So I gather that makes her the Maid/Matron of Honor. But she happens to live abroad 6000 miles away and can’t get into town more than 2-3 days before the wedding. That’s fine, and I don’t need her to carry out any of the pre-wedding day Maid/Matron of Honor responsibilities (general help with wedding planning process, organize bridal shower, etc.). Plus I already have the venue, the caterer, the dress, and the photographer selected.
My dilemma is: I have a bridesmaid that lives locally. We’re good friends, and she’s already started out looking for bridesmaid dresses and is trying to be helpful. I have a feeling she might end up hosting me the bridal shower too.
So I feel like local friend should be given the co-MOH honor as well if she’s going to be so much more involved than the actual Maid/Matron of Honor who lives abroad. I don’t want to hurt local friend’s feelings by asking her to be bridesmaid when she might end up helping out with the process so much more. But I’m clear that it’s the abroad friend that I want right by my side.
So should I make them both co-MOH? Does that mean they both have to give toasts?
My groom is also having two best men. Also my third bridesmaid is also a local friend.