MOH Lost about what to do with… Everything Bridezilla, other BMs, bridal showe

posted 5 months ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
5046 posts
Bee Keeper

I’m sorry your dress is $485 in addition to the flower girl dreses at $225 each times two?

You’re paying for a 115 person bridal shower bc her Mother-In-Law wants it but won’t pay?

There’s a Bachelorette party too?!

I only got halfway through. The bride is being greedy and ridiculous.  I’d cancel or scale back that shower. I had like 10 people at mine. Damn. If her Mother-In-Law wants to dictate this gift (and you throwing her a party is a massive gift) she can pay and plan. I’d stop planning that. A catered affair for 118 let alone 50 is still a lot. 

This is too much. 

 

Post # 3
Member
2889 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

playitagain :  I got angry for you reading this. Honestly, I’d probably take her up on her offer to step down, but obviously it’s easy for me to say that as someone who is not actually in this situation.

It doesn’t sound like there is much reasoning with her, and the Grooms mother… non related BM’s have to pay? Since when is that a thing? Find a budget you and your husband are comfortable with, plan what you can, stop telling the bride about what the plan is. If she gets upset when the party comes, tough shit, she needs to stop being such a selfish B.

Post # 6
Member
5046 posts
Bee Keeper

playitagain :  Do you are willing to spend more on her shower than your own wedding?! No! Don’t do that. No this is not how things are now. $800+ on dresses alone is sky high. 

Maybe this is how things are in the high rollers or richy rich world but even then it’s too much to ask. 

At this point I’d give her a choice she can have the party for 50 which you offered or you’ll attend whatever she or her Mother-In-Law plans as a guest.  This is ridiculous.  

  • This reply was modified 5 months, 1 week ago by  sweatergal007.
Post # 8
Member
4602 posts
Honey bee

Bow out.

Honestly.  Sincerely.  I would if I were you.  Honestly my tipping point was her using your children as props and not having the decency to invite them to the reception.  The ceremony and reception are a package deal.  If she didn’t want children at the reception then she shouldn’t have asked children to participate in the ceremony.  Disrespecting my children is the hill I would be willing to die on.  And then to dictate whether they can even be in a public space where you are presumably paying for your own room?  Nope.  This is a very ugly side of her personality I would be very hesitant to keep in my life.  I would have been done.  All the other party bullshit is just the icing on the cake. 

If you won’t bow out, then at least bow out of hosting the other wedding related parties.  If what you are willing and offering to host is unacceptable to her, then she needs to find someone offering to host what she wants.  It is not your job to cater beyond your means just because she wants it.

Post # 9
Member
1009 posts
Bumble bee

Why are you still her MOH??! Step down! This is insane. 

Post # 10
Member
5046 posts
Bee Keeper

annabananabee :  Wow. I missed the part where her kids can’t even stay at the hotel. Wowwwwww.

Yea I’d drop out right about now.  

Post # 11
Member
1560 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

She asked my youngest 2 daughters to be her flower girls because “twins are cute”, now Hubby and I find out we have to have one of our older kids pick them up from the ceremony 4 hours away (freeway driving), in the middle of the school week right after its finished, they are not invited to the reception and she doesn’t want kids at the only hotel around. I dropped it, because I couldn’t deal with the fight.

 

No. Just no. Sorry she’s insane and I find this to be questionable parenting (having your teenage son drive 4 hours to pick up your daughters solely to cater to the whims of a selfish crazy person / bridezilla). I’d step down and find a new friend. 

Post # 12
Member
4602 posts
Honey bee

Also, if you’re not going to bow out yourself (though I really think you should), at least spare your children from this nonsense and pull them out.  Don’t make them travel where they clearly aren’t wanted just to be props.  Don’t make them travel late and grab dinner on the road because of a rude and selfish woman.  Don’t care more about a selfish grown woman than your own kids.  Your kids deserve better than to be treated this way.  Flower girls are optional – your “friend” (and I use that term loosely) will still be allowed to get married without flower girls.  Let the girls stay home and enjoy their day.

Post # 13
Member
1313 posts
Bumble bee

STEP DOWN.

This woman is not your friend. She has zero respect for you and zero concern for your finances. Do not do this for her. I would bet a million bucks that you will barely hear from her after this wedding anyway. 

Just tell her it’s getting too much for you and you need to bow out. She will be pissed and probably bad mouth you to everyone and your friendship will be over, but as I said, she wasn’t really a friend anyway. 

Post # 14
Member
132 posts
Blushing bee

I’m always here for a good bridezilla long story, I’m going to live tweet my incredulity as I read. Let’s go!

She asked my youngest 2 daughters to be her flower girls because “twins are cute”, now Hubby and I find out we have to have one of our older kids pick them up from the ceremony 4 hours away (freeway driving), in the middle of the school week right after its finished, they are not invited to the reception and she doesn’t want kids at the only hotel around. I dropped it, because I couldn’t deal with the fight.

OP, these are YOUR kids! Not cute props that she doesn’t even value enough to be at the ceremony and not on the highway with a teenager, even if it is your kid. I will FIGHT anyone about it. Actually scratch that. I won’t fight because they are MY FREAKING KIDS, the twins and the teenager. What I say goes, not Bridezilla #666!

Post # 15
Member
132 posts
Blushing bee

I got together with her and explained 115 person shower was out of the question. I told her we’d agreed to 50 max, and thats what I told the venue. She became defensive and told me Grooms mother wants everyone invited so nobody feels left out or upset. That she will send out her own invites to the shower if I didn’t. 

Then, the groom’s mother can go right ahead and do that and I will withdraw my credit card from the restaurant invite and ask her for hers. If she doesn’t give it, then the shower will be 50 ppl (as long as the other Bridesmaid or Best Man pay at least 2 months in advance) or 0 ppl if by the 2 month cutoff, no one has paid for anything. OP, you are not her parents, hee rich Aunt Frances or freaking SANTA CLAUS!!!! it is your money and this ridiculous gift grabbing tactic will not be at your expense. What kind of friend is she?!?!?

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