Post # 1
Member
26 posts
Newbee
So my sister is my Matron of Honor, and my mother passed away a few years ago, so she has taken over the role as family matriarch (hosting holidays and such) as she is over 10 years older than me. Throughout the wedding planning she has been making requests that she would have never asked of my sister in law when she got married. Example: She didn’t want to do the bridal party dance w/ my FH’s brother – she wanted to dance with her husband and I said no b/c some of the bridal party weren’t bringing dates so who would they dance with if i let everyone dance with their date. Then she didn’t want to sit at the head table, so i said sure you can sit with your husband. Then I let all the bridemaids pick out their own dress…it had to be black, floor length and made of either or a combo of satin or chiffon. She picked a big ball gown (pretty much a wedding dress but black) then when we went to pick it up, she was trying on a dress for another wedding she was attending as a guest and asked if she could switch into that dress (a short black satin dress) halfway through the reception b/c she thought her dress would be heavy and hot (the dress she picked out remember not me) and she asked in front a bunch of people and said you dont mind right? so I again said sure, if it makes you happy (after her reaction to me saying no that she had to do the bridal party dance (she cried and yelled) I didn’t want to have that fight again so I just said ok). By The Way, me the bride, is not changing dresses at the reception and the rest of the bridesmaids think the fact that she is is ridiculous. So then she hits me with the craziest news this week. *Back story – She was married a long time ago, got divorced then got married to her current husband 5 years ago. b/c she was divorced, her 2nd wedding couldnt take place in church, then she had her 1st marriage annulled so she could be a godparent to our niece, so then she wanted to get re-marreid to her current husband in the church to make it religiously offical (the annullment happend months ago). This week she tells me that she is doing the committment ceremony the DAY BEFORE MY WEDDING which is a month away…she just booked it this week! How do I handle this b/c I have seriously had it with her shenanigans???
Post # 3
Member
5667 posts
Bee Keeper
Punch her in the face? Kidding, but sheesh, I don’t know. She seems hellbent on getting a rise out of you, so by not freaking out you’re not giving her the satisfaction she’s looking for. I think ultimately you have to just ignore here and keep on keepin’ on. /hugs
Post # 4
Member
1489 posts
Bumble bee
@noaliaqui: You let her know how you feel… She is trying to steal your thunder and thats not right
Post # 5
Member
1474 posts
Bumble bee
Well… maybe you can just change your mind about letting her switch dresses lol. That’ll piss her off.
Post # 6
Member
26 posts
Newbee
lol my FH told me to tell her: instead of the day before why don;t you just do it in the middle of our reception or better yet just walk down the aisle with me…the sad thing is, is that if my mom were still around and she pulled this kind of stuff, my mom would’ve slapped her…
Post # 7
Member
2783 posts
Sugar bee
I know a lot of people say “you get one day”, which in so many cases IS true…but this is actually ridiculous. You need to speak up and tell her how you feel. And if she wants to cry and freak out, let her. She is being really unreasonable.
Post # 8
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
First I want to say I’m sorry about your mom. I lost my mom when I was a teen and the hurt has been unbearable during the wedding planning process so you have my sympathy and empathy.
As for your sister, I would go old school and punch her dead in her eye (just kidding…sort of…lol). Seriously, she is way out of line and really you should request that she change her renewal to a date AFTER your wedding. As for the bridesmaid’s dress I would tell her that you changed your mind and decided everyone needs to stay in their dresses the whole night. This is YOUR day and what she’s trying to do is f-ing wrong! (Sorry but this kinda crap really pisses me off!).
Post # 9
Member
26 posts
Newbee
Also her comittment/wedding ceremony is taking place at the same church where I am getting married the following day.
Post # 10
Member
2783 posts
Sugar bee
@noaliaqui: Ok, now you’re just messing with us! I might actually come punch her FOR you.
Post # 11
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
@noaliaqui: Dude seriously? I would just call your sister out on her selfishness. And I KNOW it’s a big no-no around here, but I would seriously consider asking her to step down if she can’t act right. She’s being totally ridiculous.
Post # 12
Member
26 posts
Newbee
Nope dead serious…my other Maid/Matron of Honor (maid) who is my best friend wanted to punch her as well…I am going to talk to her tonight but am worried of how it will go…since she is the only close female relative I have left it makes this even more difficult b/c why would she put me in this position?
Also when she got married 5 years ago to the current husband..she got engaged in April or May but WAITED until that Sept to get married b/c she didn’t want to step on my sister in law and brother’s toes since they were getting married in late June!….but for me she picks the day before my wedding to get re-married in the same church where I am getting married for the 1st (and hopefully only) time!
Post # 13
Member
5093 posts
Bee Keeper
@sara_tiara: Oh, oh, can I be next in line? Please?
OP, I’m sorry you’re dealing with all this. It sounds like she’s just completely insane. It also sounds like you’re dealing with it in the most gracious and level-headed way possible, and I really commend you for that. Just keep being you.
Or, you know, let me and sara_tiara know where your sister hangs out so she can have a black eye to match her black dress.
Post # 14
Member
2783 posts
Sugar bee
It’s really weird she’s acting this way, and I’m so sorry you are put in this position, especially so close to your wedding. Just be honest with her about how you feel (assuming you are comfortable doing that), and ask her to move it.
To be honest, if she doesn’t she is going to look like a royal b*tch to all your guests.
Post # 15
Member
42 posts
Newbee
@noaliaqui:That is not right!!!! I would definitely confront her!
Post # 16
Member
26 posts
Newbee
Yeah I talked to my brother (who is closer to her in age) and he said she has always lived in her own little world. And my FH says its like she can’t let anyone else have anything, that she needs to have it too. Also my brother said if he is invited to her ceremony (b/c at this point we don’t knwo if she is inviting immediate family or just her kids or what) that he isn’t going b/c we have so much going on that weekend and that I should decline as well. The whole reason we even have that friday free is because I scheduled the rehearsal for thursday so that everyone can have a break friday b/c saturday will be a really long day.
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