Post # 1
Ok so my MoH and I have been friends for almost eight years. I thought we were thick and thin together but lately unless he needs something from me or she’s bored because her new bf is asleep I don’t hear from her. She recently broke up with her ex fiancé who is a great person and I love him as a friend they were just not good together and I thought life would get better but now she is making him pay rent (all of it )until he can find his own place an has beenattacking him over everything and allowed her new bf ( who until this incident I thought was a good guy) attack him about how he couldn’t do anything for her. It’s not his place and since she won’t respond to me I can’t talk to her about it and it’s frustrating since both my fiancé and I still want er ex at our wedding despite the breakup. Sorry for the rant but how do ask her to step down without causing a scene and hurting her ex because of my actions?
Post # 3
Could you not let all this settle down a bit before taking drastic action? Only her current relationship problems aren’t really your business and it does seem a little harsh to ask her to step down as Maid/Matron of Honor because of them.
Post # 4
She’s kind of dealing with a lot of drama, and while it isn’t any of your concern and you should be supporting instead of judging, she may be too busy dealing with all of that.
If you are concerned at what she would think if you had her ex at the wedding, I say if she can’t set her pettiness aside for one day and act like a mature adult then that is her problem.
However, if you really are serious about asking her to step down, I would just prepare yourself for the end of a friendship. If that doesn’t bother you, then it doesn’t matter what you say to her to kick her out of the wedding.
Post # 5
I suggest you focus one keeping in touch with her- coffee, lunch, phone chats etc and stay out of her personal issues.
She and her ex are adults and they can behave civilly at the wedding despite their breakup.
Post # 6
- Wedding: July 2013 - The front lawn of our church
@Going_solo: Definitely give her a heads up that you’re inviting her ex but I don’t think you should ask her to step down. There’s no tactful way to do it and it definitely will come across as extremely rude to everyone.
Post # 7
@Going_solo: none of this sounds like your business, and it all sounds like second or third hand information.
i would honestly stay out of their relationship and break up. aside from problems associated with that – how is your friendship? is it something you could talk to her about or improve in some way?
if this is truly your best friend, i wouldn’t be so drastic, it’s very unlikely that you’ll stay close after asking her to step down.
Post # 8
There is no nice way to ask someone to step down, and I’m sure she’ll be really hurt if you do ask her to. There is a good chance she may actually just not come to your wedding at all. If she starts saying nasty things about her ex (in general), is ask her to keep you out of it since you are friends with both parties. A true friend will respect that. As for the wedding day, I’m sure they can be civil for your sake at the reception.
Post # 9
Depending on how strongly she feels about the ex, she may step down voluntarily once she finds out he is invited. If not, I would stress that it is important for everyone to be civil to each other during the wedding and reception. I would also let her know that it is important to communicate during the wedding planning process.