(Closed) MOH-NO (Advice for a frustrated MOH)

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: What should I do?
    Talk it out, AGAIN : (19 votes)
    37 %
    Stick it out : (2 votes)
    4 %
    Drop out : (31 votes)
    60 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    245 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    Wow, that sounds pretty nightmarish.  As tempted as you are to drop out, do you think it’s something you’d regret in the end?  Would you end the friendship as well?  I guess it all depends on what your end goal is.  If you’re trying to salvage the friendship, I’d say try to talk it out as many times as it takes for her to listen, even if it’s through text message since she refuses in-person confrontations. 

    I would say, try to stick it out regardless – Then, after the wedding is over, see if things change.  If not, then you can decide whether you want to sever the relationship or not and, at least then, she won’t have anything to throw in your face, like dropping out of her wedding.  Sorry to hear about this – Good luck!

    Post # 5
    Member
    104 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    @MOH2013:  I voted “talk it out again” though I’m not sure it would help. It sounds like your friend is selfish as all get out! 

    I live thousands of miles away from my best friend and we are still each others BEST FREND. While I know she has close friends where she lives I know I can call her about anything and she will always be there for me and always be HONEST with me. I’ve called her after a fight with the Fiance and instead of telling me how right I am and wrong he is she actually called me out on my shit and I knew she really loved me and had my best interest at heart. 

    Your best friend needs a reality check! This is not high school as you said and she is behaving very poorly towards her best friend… And other people around her! Is this a change in attitude since she’s been planning the Wedding or has she always been so selfish/self centered??

    Post # 6
    Member
    367 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    Maybe you should tell her all of this and see if she apologizes or even gets that she  being a bride/friendzilla. If not then it is not worth the stress. Sorry you have to deal with this.

    Post # 7
    Member
    245 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    Her saying she won’t be friends with you once you move because she’s taking it as a personal attack for some reason is pretty low.  Well, if you’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t, then it seems like you have to do what you feel the most comfortable doing for yourself.  Do you think you’ll regret it later down the line if you drop out, regardless what she thinks or says?  If not, then get out.  I personally would probably not want to drop out because of the committment I made – It’s easier for bridesmaids to duck out, but it’s a bigger deal for the Maid/Matron of Honor.  Just my two cents!  Hope this helps somewhat 🙂

    Post # 8
    Member
    3697 posts
    Sugar bee

    If she’s not supporting you in one of *YOUR* major life events (i.e. an out-of-state move), then she’s not really your friend. That cuts both ways.

    Post # 10
    Member
    259 posts
    Helper bee

    I would try to talk to her one last time, and if she wont, drop out

    Post # 11
    Member
    1828 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    This time after school is over, before weddings (or around other major events) is when friendships turn into ‘forever’ or are broken. When people take different paths then sometimes friendships don’t last and this sounds like one of those times. Sometimes we just outgrow friendships…there will always be love for that person but it’s time to move on.

    If your friend is already saying that you won’t be friends once you move, she is already making that decision and telling you. Your decision is whether you want to wait until after the wedding or just make a break now. Honestly I would be done personally…but then I have a lot of years experience and have learned not to hang on.

    Post # 12
    Member
    2120 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    “yeah she sounds a bit out there. umm if you only have a few months to go. i would try to stick it out. then have a serious talk about your relationship with her. ” was what i was gunna say but reading your last post on you moving..now thats odd. you should never say that to a friend. let alone your best friend. im still friends with a high school friend long distance. and that was 7 years ago. we text and talk all the time. shes actaully one of my bridesmaids and i havent seen her in like two years. at the least. also aug is not just a few months , thats like half a year.thats a lot of time for her to find a new one.

    no matter what you do it sounds like it will never be enough. so run! as fast as you can

    Post # 14
    Member
    3697 posts
    Sugar bee

    @Luayne:  this, exactly.

    I would also ask yourself, if it looks like the friendship is dead in the water sooner or later: what do I gain by staying in the wedding? And what does it cost me? Which one outweighs the other?

    Post # 15
    Member
    367 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    What is your boyfriend saying about all this? Since they are friens and they obviously are talking about you- and he tells you this. What does he say back to her? What does he think about you dropping out or being stressed out by her?

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