(Closed) MOH not helping

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
547 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

It’s sounds quite selfish of her. You pick someone to be the Maid/Matron of Honor is it saying you are the friend I trust and love the most and want you to be the first person by my slide when I get married. So I think what yours is doing is typical of a close friend who is jealous of you already or has been for a long time in some way shape or form you may not know about. I would just let her step down from Maid/Matron of Honor and get someone who really wants it for you or you could be looking at the same kind of disaster I went thru and still going thru with mine for over a year now.   A insecure friend no matter how long yoiu have been friends can turn into someone you don’t even want ot be around somehow. 19 years and after my engagment she found someone and within 6 months of knowing him started plannign a wedding and married before me cut me out of her wedding totaly never even asked and stated she only wanted her daughter by her side. She wanted me to do alll the bridesmaid things but not be in it. She still has yet to do one thing for mine and it has been over a  year in the planning, now it’s only 4 months away and she has excused herself from the bach party, giving me a show, and now says she can’t aford to go yet post things all over facebook of new things she is getting, doing, and so on. Even her own husband told me they could more then aford it yet she sends me long e-mails of all the money the have to spend in 2012! And had the nerve to say “well it’s my daughters year she is graduation and we want to send you on a trip for graduation and she needs new tires! They got her a car 4 months ago and the tires were new! she has turned into someone I don’t even know. 

Post # 4
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

It’s not your MOH’s job to call around for quotes, it’s yours.

You said she’s “completely backing out of the wedding” but now she’s back in? I’m confused. Maybe she wanted the cocktail dress because she thought she could wear it again. Regardless, you’re the bride and if you want your girls to be in a certain color then that’s what they have to get. As for her driving around to spot a Kardashian, you can’t really judge how other people choose to spend their money. I know that it’s easy to be pissed off since she’s complaining about paying for the dress but she’s allowed to do what she pleases with her own money (and gas to drive an hour away will be like $20 anyway).

Are you sure she wants to be in your wedding? If she’s already backed out once and making a big stink over $7 then maybe she’s not fully committed. 

Post # 7
611 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

YOu have every right to be frustrated with her about the dress thing, and I agree it sounds like she doesn’t really want to be in the bridal party. Maybe you can, rather than kicking her out, tactfully offer her the chance to step down if that would make her life easier–frame it like you’re looking out for her, not like you’re upset with her.

But I agree with CaitMarae that it is not reasonable to expect her to help you make phone calls and request quotes – that sort of thing is 100% the bride and groom’s responsibility. Not your parents’, either; yours’ and your fiance’s. It is wonderful when people OFFER to help, but you cannot demand or expect that they should.

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