(Closed) *MOH* Out of state wedding Help

posted 4 years ago in Logistics
Post # 2
Member
824 posts
Busy bee

I don’t see why the small size of the wedding means there can’t be two showers? Normally I think many showers is excessive, but in this case where its geography, not a greedy bride, I think that is what makes the most sense. Why not just have smaller (ie less expensive) showers in both locations? That way the bridesmaids don’t need to travel for the other shower, and guests who would like to be included can go to the one in their respective city?

Post # 3
Member
47412 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
bear123 :  I don’t think BM’s, or guests for that matter, should be expected to travel for a shower, unless it’s a short drive there and back that can easily be done in a day.

If you want to host a shower, host it locally and let someone else worry about one in Florida if they so choose.

Post # 4
Member
522 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013 - Callanwolde Fine Arts Center

I completely agree that it makes sense to have two showers since the family/friends are spread out into two states. That way only the bride and maybe her mother and Mother-In-Law will need to travel for the showers.

Post # 5
Member
338 posts
Helper bee

I don’t see why they couldn’t have two, and any bridal party or close family who wants to travel/can travel can but doesn’t have to. 

Post # 6
Member
824 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
julies1949 :  Not sure if you meant to respond to me or clicked it on accident, but I said pretty much the same thing as you…

Post # 7
Member
4890 posts
Honey bee

This seems like the perfect scenario for two (assuming there are two people who want to host).  MOH/BMs aren’t required to host, so two people have to be willing to host.  But basically, whoever wants to host a shower throws the shower they are willing to host (so if that means in their home or a restaurant or only hosting 5 people or hosting 50 people) and the person of honor accepts or declines.  So, the FL bridesmaids can host a local shower for friends if they want.  You can host a shower in NJ for family whenever it is convenient for the bride to travel there.  It makes more sense for one single person to travel to the group than an entire group to travel for one person.

Alternatively, not everyone has to be involved.  A shower in NJ may not be practical if she lives in FL (although I will say as long as you’re willing to ship things, it’s not that big of a deal – a friend just had a baby shower in her home state and just shipped everything back to where she lives now).  

 

Post # 8
Member
47412 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
bear123 :  Sorry, meant to tag the OP.

Post # 9
Member
6939 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

I guess I don’t understand why all of these people need to be invited to the shower in the first place? Not everyone invited to the wedding needs to be invited to the shower. 

If I were you I’d host a shower in your town for the people that live there. Then, if someone wants to host another one in Florida for those people, they’re welcome to do so. 

Post # 11
Member
7866 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

View original reply
callen324 :  You don’t have to host two showers (unless you want to)–the FL BMs or other friends may certainly host a FL shower. 

Post # 12
Member
6939 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

View original reply
callen324 :  I wouldn’t host 2 showers yourself Bee. That’s a lot. Especially considering you don’t live in one of the locations. Host the one where you live and if someone wants to, they can also host a shower in Florida. 

Post # 13
Hostess
5038 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2016

View original reply
julies1949 :  This.  My guests were distributed like this and my Maid/Matron of Honor hosted one at my Mom’s house (not close to where I lived or where a lot of my BMs lived).  It was small and I was completely fine with everyone not being able to make it.  I told my out of state BMs in advance not to worry about it.  No need to host two!  If someone else wants to host one in FL, they can do that.

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