(Closed) MOH probably can’t make it, no one else to fill her shoes!

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Go with which plan? (from end of post)
    Plan 1: Bring in #1 as MOH : (1 votes)
    13 %
    Plan 2: Bring in cousin and then promote from within : (0 votes)
    Plan 3: Bring in Cousin or #1 and have current MOH (#3) send a recorded toast so she's still "there" : (3 votes)
    38 %
    Plan 4: You have a better idea and will tell me below.... : (4 votes)
    50 %
  • Post # 3
    1580 posts
    Bumble bee

    It sounds like Maid/Matron of Honor means a lot to you. I’d somehow fit a plane ticket and dress into your wedding budget to get her there. Is that a possibility?

    Post # 5
    1927 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Honestly I think you should just leave her as your Maid/Matron of Honor, even if she can’t be there.  Name her in the program and let her retain the honor.  Don’t add someone to your wedding party for the sake of pictures.  That person will feel like (and will be) a second choice.

    I think you should have your Maid/Matron of Honor write out her toast and have someone else read it at the wedding (your mom perhaps?).

    Post # 6
    3041 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I voted, if #2 from Alaska can’t get there than to bring in #1 as your Maid/Matron of Honor. I don’t think they’d feel like 2nd choice. Just be honest, say you really wish #1 had been in your wedding party all along.

    Bummer that she’s in Alaska, I hope she can is able to make it. One of my good friends I met in school who I wanted to be in my wedding party but she couldn’t come actually lives in Alaska… that darn Alaska :P.

    Post # 7
    218 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2006

    What about the mother or sister of your friend who died being your MOH?  If you are still close to the family and it wouldn’t bring out too many emotions for them by being in your wedding it might be a good way to honor your friend. 

    Post # 8
    2821 posts
    Sugar bee

    I think it depends a bit.  I wasn’t too concerned about having a Maid/Matron of Honor but then one of my sisters (there are three sisters so I didn’t want to choose) really took charge so she was Maid/Matron of Honor.  But my mom was the one who mainly organized the bridal shower.  So I donno, it helps to have someone to organize but if you don’t mind jumping in a bit or just asking one of them, especially a local Bridesmaid or Best Man, to maybe help coordinate things since Maid/Matron of Honor is in Alaska, they may understand without needing the Maid/Matron of Honor title. 


    Post # 9
    228 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2011

    You can always ask one of your guy friends to stand up for you!  I know that this will throw off the male/ female balance of photos, but if you are as close or closer to your guys friends then your present bridesmaids why not have one of them up there with you?  I’ve seen this in a couple of weddings and I always think its touching to see their support!

    Post # 10
    3148 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Kind of random…in a way.


    But I went to a wedding this Jan. and the “would be MOH” couldnt make it cause…get this..she lived in Alaska!! kind of random. So what the bride did was have a specialty drink that the Maid/Matron of Honor had designed or created…it was called alaskan something as well…


    It was a nice thing to have “for her” and I really like the idea.

    Post # 11
    125 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Why can’t you just call her up and say: “I know you have a lot going on, and you have been sick, and financially strapped. I really want you to be my maid of honor but I feel things are tight. How can I help? What is going on?”

    She might surprise you with her response. I say that you need to do what it takes to get her there. Ask all the BM’s to chip in for flight if possible, and take parents up on hotel. Pay for her dress. It is just as important as splurging on photography, and will make your friendship that much stronger.

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