Post # 1
Hi. So I am having problems with my Maid/Matron of Honor. A while back we were really close, & now it seems like all I want to do is get away from her. She’s very unreliable and it seems as though everything she tries to do falls through. I’m really afraid she is going to do something to screw up the wedding or something like my bridal shower will fall through. I have another best friend who is amazing. She’s understanding & reliable. I can always count on her & she has her head on straight. I really wish I picked her as my Maid/Matron of Honor. Can I tell my unreliable friend that I no longer want her as a Maid/Matron of Honor and if so how can I break the news to her? Do you think it would ruin our friendship? Help !
Post # 3
Sorry but if you tell her she’s not Maid/Matron of Honor any more it will ruin your friendship. Your best thing to do is just rely on other people to get things done. When is your wedding? Your date next to your name says June 2011 which is a long time from now so I’m not sure there is much wedding stuff for her to do at this time. So I wouldn’t worry with it now until it gets closer.
Post # 4
I agree with vintage2010. You can’t rescind your request for her to be your Maid/Matron of Honor without some sort of fallout. I would just make it a point to include all of your BMs on planning issues and watch the cream rise, so to speak. Let whoever is willing to help help, and don’t get too caught up in titles and expectations of who’s supposed to do what.
Post # 5
I agree, you will just cause more drama be demoting her to a bridesmaid. It sounds like you can count on your good friend to help you out a lot if your Maid/Matron of Honor isn’t helping you out at all. Good luck!
Post # 6
Im having the same problem!!! You just have to bite the bullet and tell her that you think its best that she isn’t part of the wedding party anymore. Your frindship has drifted and you are not as close as you used tobe and you need someone there that is relaible and will be there for all the wedding details. I have to bite the bullet and tell the same thing to mine! Good luck and let me know how it goes!
Post # 7
I’m sorry but I disagree about kicking her out of the wedding when she really hasn’t done anything wrong. Again you have lots of time for her to come around. I just hate seeing these posts about girls kicking people out of their wedding for no apparent reason. If you have a good one then fine but she hasn’t even had a chance yet to plan your shower, etc. My friend recently kicked her friend out of the wedding. Why because the girl didn’t show up to the shower the BMs hosted, didn’t send her $$ to contribute which meant the rest of us split her portion. The bride had a talk with her and she swore she was going to make it up to her by coming to the two remaining showers. She didn’t show up to the last two showers. One of which she posted on Facebook that she was going to the bars to watch football with her boyfriend instead of coming to the shower. So to me if your Bridesmaid or Best Man or Maid/Matron of Honor is causing you this type of grief then yes consider kicking her out. But if nothing has really happened at this point then be prepared to lose a friend.
Post # 8
I am not going to encourage you to kick anyone out of the wedding party – I think that’s distasteful, unless she has done something majorly wrong. It doesn’t seem like she has done anything that awful, except not meeting your expectations, and I don’t think that alone is a good reason to let her go. Unless you don’t want her to be in your life anymore and just don’t care about her as a friend anymore, don’t kick her out. Express your expectations to her and voice your concerns and/or allow your reliable best friend or other people to help out.
Post # 9
- Wedding: September 2009 - Barr Mansion
My advice would be to keep her as your “official” Maid/Matron of Honor, and make your close friend a bridesmaid, tell her the situation and put her “unofficially” in charge to keep things on track. If your Maid/Matron of Honor fails you, the friend can step in.