- 6 years ago
- Wedding: June 2013
I don’t even know where to begin. This might be a little all over the place because I’m super ticked off at the moment.
So, my Maid/Matron of Honor has been my best friend since I moved across Canada and landed here. Her and I do everything together, as per usual, and we go to each other with any problems we have. We met through my fiance and her boyfriend, both of whom are life long best friends. Her boyfriend is my fiances best man. We have a very close knit group of friends, most of whom are couples as well, some married, few single guys who grew up with my fiance, four of the guys are actually brothers as well. Anyway, point is, we’re close knit. My Maid/Matron of Honor, on the other hand, is a little bit of a wild child at times as is the type of person to do and say whatever she wants. Not conservative at all like the rest of us, which is normally okay-but sometimes causes issues as you can imagine due to the different personalities.
Anyway, I picked her to be my Maid/Matron of Honor right after I got engaged. It was an easy choice for me at the time. Didn’t have to think twice about it. She’s been very helpful and even threw us a lovely, intimate engagement dinner party for us and our closest friends. (Including the girl I am going to talk about below-I’m not sure why she was invited as it was MY engagement party…)
But the problem started shortly after I got engaged.
My Maid/Matron of Honor has a friend, not someone who is in our normal group of friends, whom she has been bringing around quite frequently. She’s an okay girl, little bit of a princess attitude, much older, single, party animal, dabbles in coke and is TREMENDOUSLY flirtatious. Anyway, so when my moh started bringing her around to our friends parties and stuff, I was getting kind of annoyed. I don’t want to sound like I am stuck up, which is def what I sound like, just hear me out. This girl would get drunk, hit on all our boyfriends, make gross comments,etc. My fiance was also really upset when she would be invited to things like even HIS birthday gathering which has always just been our close friends. I voiced my concern to my moh, who told me I was being jealous and making her feel bad for being friends with her. Not the case but whatever. This girl kept coming around all the time, being invited by my moh, so eventually my fiance and I just…really took a step back and decided we weren’t having fun going out anymore, her being a big part of it. Many other friends did too. It just wasn’t the same anymore. I continued to plan the wedding with help from my moh, we just never talked about the other girl or anything. Wasn’t worth it to me.
I need to make this shorter or I’ll be here all day. In point form-This new girl slept with several guys who USED to be in our group of friends, now who aren’t as a result. It caused lots of tension and absolute WEIRDNESS and people all just fell apart. My fiance REFUSES to be around this girl, as they’ve gotten in screaming matches with each other. (She’s got quite a loud, vulgar mouth and it doesn’t fly with my fiance). THEN I found out that this stupid girl and my moh got “messed up” one night and hooked up. Few issues here. My mohs boyfriend doesn’t know, and if he knew he’d consider it cheating. I think it’s absolutely disgusting because I, too, think it’s cheating-I’m sorry I don’t agree to this behavious-I’m getting effing married. Cheating isn’t REALLY something I think is honkydory. I told my fiance, who FLIPPED out because he knows its like, his duty or whatever to tell his best friend that this happened. I asked him not to until I figure out what the hell I am supposed to do. It’ll break up their relationship. My Maid/Matron of Honor will hate me and of course not be my friend anymore. I’m SO disapointed inher and have told her several times that I can’t believe this happened. She just tells me to keep my mouth shut. And again, this other girl is STILL coming around and it just iiiiirrrkkkksss meee!
One of my fiances close guy friends birthday is coming up. An event was made of Facebook by my moh. It stated only a few VERY close friends were going-mostly just the guys that he grew up with and us girlfriends but thats it. Guess who was on the invite list: STUPID GIRL! WHY?!
Few seconds after I saw thta my phone rang. It was my fiance. He doesn’t want to go to the party, told me he’d see his friend another time.
I wrote my Maid/Matron of Honor stating that this is ridiculous. I was honest with her and told her how I felt. This girl shouldn’t be at all our gatherings, she has no place, the boys don’t like her, people stay away because of her, people feel uncomfortable around her, AND now people are assuming since shes around my moh all the time, that she must act that way too and is kinda getting a bad name.
We’ll see how this goes. I’m waiting for a reply. If history repeats itself, she’ll just blow up at me saying I’m jealous and whatever.
I don’t feel jealous. I don’t care that my moh has other friends, obviously. I’m not that psycho. I have other friends too. Who cares! They just don’t sleep with all my other friends, flirt with everyone, and sleep with my moh. And I AM super disapointed in my moh. The first time we fought about this, I found out she was telling her boyfriend that she “didn’t know she could be friends with me anymore. I’m just too hard to be friends with”…..
Little history on that: I DO EVERYTHING FOR MY FRIENDS. I’m the ONLY one with a car, and a job that ensures I am financially stable, ie: I cart their butts around everywhere and lend them money when needed-her the most. I drop whatever I’m doing to be there for my friends, especially her. Whatever I can do, I do. My friends are there for me as well when they can be and do what they can, but it’s limited.
So, as you can see, I am totally all over the place with this.
I don’t know what to do or say anymore.
I’m so very frustrated. Obviously. Hit a wall.