- 5 years ago
- Wedding: April 2013
This is going to be a long post. I have three bridesmaids- M, K and S. When I got engaged, M said to me ‘I’m your Maid/Matron of Honor right, I am’, so I said yes. The reason I said yes is because my other two bridesmaids live 8 hours away, I figured with M she could help me with the little wedding tasks. Now we’ve gotten in a huge fight.
She’s been not so great this entire time, here is what comes to mind as the bigger things
-She didn’t come to any wedding dress fittings, I went to 2 with my mom and my final fitting alone. She said she was busy with her boyfriend that day
-She didn’t help with invitations or favours, I asked her when she would be available on a Saturday and she never was. She doesn’t work weekends, she was busy with her boyfriend. My mom and brothers Girlfriend helped with invitations, and me and my mom did all the favours.
-We have a mutual friend, I lost connection with him but he contacts her when he comes to town. I asked her to ask around and find out his number or address because I did want to invite him to the wedding. She came back to me and said she gave up. I spoke to bridesmaid K and she told me she had to convince her to keep trying but failed, she just didn’t feel like it.
-She decided to plan my bach for out of town to see my other bridesmaids, I thought this was very kind. All of a sudden she’s trying to throw it in my face that she planned this whole thing and doesn’t even have the money to do. I NEVER SUGGESTED GOING ON A TRIP! She’s really not even paying money, maybe 30 dollars in gas, the use of her car (our local friend said she would drive but M said no), $20 dollars for hotel and $80 dollars for a wine tasting (that she wanted to do).
-She keeps saying “I never even wanted to be Maid/Matron of Honor, when I get married I’m gonna have K as my Maid/Matron of Honor and no one else, this is too much”. I never asked her.
-My mom is hosting a bridal shower for local people. She called M, finally got ahold of her for 5 minutes and asked her to come half an hour early and prep appys, M bitched to me about this. My mom told M she would invite all her family and my cousins, and asked that M find out who I wanted to invite. I don’t have many friends who still live in my city, just about 5 who I’m close enough with, I told M over lunch a week ago who I wanted to come. Fast forward to last night, I call two of the girls to tell them I’m happy I’ll get to see them.. both had NO IDEA about the bridal shower this Sunday and now couldn’t make it as they had work/out of town. I call another, she has no idea and made plans. I call M today, she said she forgot and it wasn’t a big deal. I tell her it’s not her deicison what’s a big deal in MY WEDDING.
I tell M this is crazy, I can’t believe this. She goes on that she never wanted to be Maid/Matron of Honor and then texts me and says if I’m going to be a bitch she’s not coming to the bridal shower. I call K, she understands, she knows she was who I wanted to have Maid/Matron of Honor but understood my decision to pick someone I was equally as close with but knew this would happen because M is selfish. She advises I text M and just ask if she wants to be a Maid/Matron of Honor, because if not K is ready to step in as much as she can to make sure the day is what I want. I tell M “Stop saying ‘I never wanted to be MOH’ cause you asked me if you could be and if it’s too much I’ll ask K”, she says “go ahead, I’m not sitting here while you get mad at me for forgetting something that’s really not that big of a deal bye”. So I said “it is a big deal blah blah. OK I will, bye”.
What would you do in my situation? Am I in the wrong?